credit: bugmonkey

One of my daughters is quite the ‘what if?’ person. You know, “what if” we don’t make it there on time? “What if” the dentist has to pull out all my teeth? She always looks quite concerned when she asks the question, and I’ve recently been on a quest to try and teach her to tackle problems as they arise rather than worrying about the might happen scenarios.

While I’m sure this is pretty common in lots of younger kids, I’ve also seen this kind of behaviour in adults. Have you ever come across these kinds of people? They go way beyond what would be considered to be good planning. “We have to leave now or we’ll miss the train!” easily becomes “If we miss the train the parcel won’t get delivered, the bank might foreclose, the customers will riot and people will die!” Ok maybe that example was a little overdone, but you get the gist of what I’m saying!

The problem with this approach to problem solving is that it affects not only your own stress levels, but also the people around you! To a much lesser extent than my example above, it can be easy to slip into this kind of thinking rather than being adaptable and adjusting to situations as they arise.

credit: @LupinThe3rd

There’s a kids book that my daughter used to read by H. Norman Wright called “Ric & Rac’s Woodland Adventure”. It’s one of those books where some animals get into a bit of mischief but end up learning a lesson at the end (parents see these books and say ‘mmmm this is a good book’, kids see these and throw them back down!) Here’s a quick snip from one of the pages:

Me? Afraid? I’m always afraid. You know what I’m afraid of? I’ll tell you. I’m afraid of the other animals not liking me. What if they laugh at me? What if they chase me? What if… what if… what if?

Oh me! I’m afraid of new things, loud things, strange things. I’m so afraid of fear, I don’t know what to do. That’s why I run around in circles, and up and down, you know. Oh dear, oh dear, I live my life full of fear.”

As I’ve grown older I’ve discovered that a lot of things I didn’t care about when I was younger now seem to weigh more heavily on me. Where will I be ten years from now? Have I done all I can to fulfil my destiny? Is this really all I can be? What if? I’ve often thought back to the above quote from the kids book - am I having realistic concerns in my life that will help me take some action, or am I being overly fearful?

credit: riot jane

Most adults have common concerns such as work and job situations, finances, mortgages, car payments: all of these things are valid because they impact our day to day living. But are we tackling problems as they arise and having a constructive view of potential outcomes, or do we worry too much about what might happen?

My wife has sometimes criticised me in the past for replying “it’ll all work out” in response to a potentially worrying situation, rather than creating a plan of attack there and then. In truth, it’s often to buy me a bit more time to go and think of ways to tackle the problem! Regardless, having a positive attitude that things will work out is a great way to start dealing with problems that seem un-fixable, rather than stressing and worrying that there is no way out.

Something I’ve been trying to do lately is turn any ‘what if’ type thoughts into productive ones in the same way I try to deal with problems as they arise. Rather than worrying “is this really all I can be?” I’ve tried to swing my thinking to “what else can I do that would fulfill some of my dreams?”

Have you ever slipped into “what if this happens” mode? Are your concerns reasonable or do you worry too much? Food for thought…