The heart of life
Is it just me or does the daily news seem to be grim these days? There are so many sad things that happen in the world. While I’ve never wanted my kids to be overly sheltered or have a false sense of security, lately I’ve found it’s increasingly difficult to even listen to the news in the car or on TV and be comfortable with my girls listening in. Horrible news.
I’m not talking here about an avalanche or flood (although that can also be horrible news), I’m talking about stalkers. Child molesters. People who commit malicious acts which are premeditated and calculated. The only way I can describe it is evil. What on earth drives a father to throw a child from a bridge?
It’s got me thinking about the heart of life.
Are most people ‘good’ at their very core? Do people who hurt other people ever feel love? Joy? Emotion?
I’ve had some exposure to mental illness and drug/alcohol addicts, and have seen the complete lack of insight in their eyes. But what of those who are aware of what they are doing?
What is at our core?
I’d like to think that at the core of humanity is care and respect for other people. Yet the world may be changing. For instance, there were fights that happened when I was at school, but to video those fights with a phone, post them on myspace then belittle and mock the student to the point of suicide – this is something entirely new. What have we become!?
Maybe it’s simply that there is more exposure to these acts, that we are becoming better at exposing people rather than sweeping things under a rug. Abuse in churches for example is particularly disturbing, and was formerly mostly covered up and not talked about.
On the flipside, it’s brought about a public paranoia that makes people feel awkward and embarrassed when they are taking photo’s of their own kids! A recent news article describes an amateur photographer who was thrown off the beach for taking photos of an adult volleyball game.
Let me hit you with some lyrics by John Mayer:
Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won’t all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good
So my question: is the heart of life good? What do you think?
Has there been a shift in society?
Or is it just that our awareness, exposure and population has increased?
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February 4th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Some interesting and important thoughts, Taeran. Have you read M Scott Peck’s “People of the Lie”?
February 4th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
@Craig – Howdy… No I haven’t read that one. Recommend?
February 4th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Ross –
I agree with Craig that People of the Lie is worthwhile reading and good information to know. However (you knew I had to say that) I think the problems in our society, at least in America, and probably similarly there in Australia, are built on two things, in my opinion:
1. The breakup of the extended family because of industrialization.
2. The deterioration of the nuclear family in the aftermath of World War II.
Ross, you sound like an excellent father and have managed to maintain what sounds like a solid family life, one where your children can find guidance and understanding. This is a rarity.
Having lost a real “infrastructure” of mentoring, parenting, or leadership for probably sixty years, this is what our world has become. Is it any surprise?
Obviously we need to be mindful of the traps surrounding us in the world. But we can’t let ourselves become demoralized and lose heart. We can do great things for ourselves, and for those we love, and the day we can no longer do this is they day we’ve given up any hope, or the day our hearts stop beating, and not one moment sooner.
This is our immediate challenge in most of our lives — keep moving forward. Once this is something we feel comfortable we have under control, then we need to see what we can do to help others.
This site, and others like it, are attempts to reach out that hand of help.
People need guidance, and many reach the point where they seek it out. You and I are trying to do that.
Let’s keep reaching out.
– Daniel
Daniel Brenton’s last blog post..Gratitude Watch – 2009-02-03
February 4th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Hi Ross. I wonder how much of a shift there has been in proportion to the increase in population. Crime has become such a regular occurrence now: I believe that on some level we’ve become numbed to it thanks to the media. They accentuate the drama.
I remember years ago when I was really young, the report of a murder was horrible. Now unless it’s someone you know or an extra horrific crime, it’s easy to shrug and go about your business. It also doesn’t help with so many television shows running that investigate crime.
Davina’s last blog post..Guest Post: Emotions — The Universal Language
February 4th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
@Daniel – both of your points are interesting suggestions – I’ll have to read more on the effects of industrialization to be able to comment. I completely agree with your thoughts on not allowing ourselves to become demoralised – I hope I didn’t come off sounding like that. What I feel is more a feeling of disappointment in people who take advantage of others, particularly when I hear kids or teenagers are involved – like teens preying on a girl who’s out walking, for example. And sadness. But I’m certainly not demoralised, most of the time I really do stay on the positive side of life. I guess ‘bitter-sweet’ might be a better way of explaining my feelings towards the world! Thanks for your comments and encouragement.
February 4th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
@Davina – I guess if you look at the world 100 years ago, if you were to say – “ok, 5% of the population are really nasty people”, what sort of percentage would there be in today’s society? And have our perceptions or definitions of ‘really nasty people’ also shifted? It’s difficult to say. I’d be inclined to suggest that yes, we are desensitized to horrible things, and yes – they are on the increase from an overall percentage point of view.
February 4th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I hesitate to say what I think about the main question, but what I notice is that in the past, even when I was a kid, people often had the attitude of “even though it’s tempting to do _____, I won’t because it’s wrong”.
Now, if you listen to respected people, you get “if you want to, do it,” or even “if you want to, it’s right”. I guess there would be lots of disagreements about details, but the “do what you want” attitude is basically saying always follow your desires. So what about someone whose desires are such that they would be seen by 99% of society as wrong (or ‘unacceptable’)? They have still been told that it’s right to follow your desires. Selfishness causes a lot of the problems that exist in the world. It’s interesting that a lot of the things that people don’t like in the world are just a result of people being ‘independant’. And independance is almost always seen as a right and a good thing. Well, for example, a small child is very dependant, which means that the parent(s) cannot be independant if the child is even to survive, let alone flourish. And even in adult life, relationships are vital. They’re not for me to ‘get’, they’re vital for me to ‘give’. Giving and being outward looking are important for character to grow in a good direction. I guess we all know someone who looks inward all the time and only sees their own needs. They tend to be difficult people to be around. Whereas someone who looks outward without looking for anything back or any reward is a pleasure to be with. I guess the fear is, well, if I do this, will people take advantage? Well, maybe, but I’ve found that it’s catching, and the only way to spread good is to ‘do’.
The sticky bit is next though – for me, I found that before I met Jesus, I had no strength to do any of this, or not with any consistency. Now, albeit after probably way too long, I’ve discovered that He gives all the strength I need. There’s always reasons not to do something good, but usually they melt away to nothing when you just go forward and do the good thing anyway.
And, I’ve found it to be true that merely trying not to do stuff that’s wrong or hurtful or selfish doesn’t really work. But there’s something about looking for good stuff to do which kind of gets rid of the other. A bit like when it’s dark, and you switch on a light. You don’t think “right, what to do about the darkness now?” The light takes care of it.
If anyone’s interested in philosophy, there’s a Christian philosopher called Dallas Willard, who makes a lot of sense, probably more so than me! He explains a lot of what’s wrong with society, but speaks with a lot of genuine hope as well. There’s various podcasts & downloads on the net.
February 4th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Hi Ross
Mm, this requires some thought. I’d like to think that we are simply more aware, but, when I see how people behave around me…
Perhaps I am just becoming disillusioned with what I thought people’s values and principles were.
This is completely aside from my first paragraph, but looking at the population as a whole in South Africa, it is terrible. I do not read the newspapers or listen to the news. I feel sick when i see some of the pictures that they splash on the front pages.
Everybody knows of someone who has been killed or the victim of some violent act. Or worse, they have experienced it themselves.
There is simply no respect for life.
I know of someone who’s mother is a psychologist and she was counselling a boy from one of the poor areas. There was a wealthy foreigner paying for the counselling and his education, transport etc. He was extremely fortunate. She asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said “a gangster leader”.
Is there hope?
Juliet
LifeMadeGreat’s last blog post..Overcoming The Barriers Of Introversion: Starting The Process
February 4th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
I think the heart of life (or the nature of life) is good. Perhaps it is the lack of nurture in life (the nurturing from others as well as self nurturing) that shifts people towards making bad choices. Great Post!
Stacey’s last blog post..Hungry for Balance Online Retreat
February 5th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Hi Ross,
Great Post! I tend to agree with Stacey.I believe (aside from the mental illness issue)that all people are good at the core. When we are born we are as a piece of clay. From that day forward being molded so to speak by outside forces. Society,Personal relationships and so on.They say the first seven years of life are what molds and shapes the personality. I feel that after that we form our own likes, dislikes,beliefs and opinions.Our environment plays a big part of us being who we are.
I feel if we can “fix” the major issues we face such as poverty, hunger, housing, medical care and education we will see a marked improvement in the way we react to situations and each other.
Caanlu’s last blog post..Folkloric Stories
February 5th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Hello All,
Until one overcomes, one is being tempted when unsheltered. How does one teach the children this without temptation entering in first? This is why things are unspeakable. Do you leave the children naive and thereby vulnerable? Both the instruction and lack thereof risks the children falling.
Overcoming is the sorting process.
Teach them unselfishness first and only. Selfishness is ruination.
Beware the hardening of wrathful punishment. Peaceful, loving guidance is right.
They don’t want to be disobedient. They want to be corrected. Society at-large runs contrary to this though. Society at-large is full of temptation.
The separation will occur.
Blessings To Everyone,
Tom Usher
Real Liberal Christian Church
February 5th, 2009 at 10:23 am
It’s my view that each individual has seeds of good and evil. It comes down to which seeds are watered. By nature some people are more likely to shift to one category, but environment (nurture) can have a significant influence on that shift.
Gennaro’s last blog post..Venice Carnival: Masks And Malvasia
February 5th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
@Steve – Hi! I’ve come across a lot of that “if you want to do it, do it!” mentality, or even “do it if it makes you feel good”. As you suggest, this selfish mentality causes many problems, and doesn’t really lend it self to helping build a constructive society. Thanks for your well thought out comment!
@Juliet – I can also sense a trend of lack of respect for life. I’m not so sure there’s an easy answer, either, but maybe standing up for what is right is a good first step, rather than going along with the herd. Thanks for commenting.
@Stacey – Hi, thanks for visiting. Maybe nurture (or lack of) is making the situation worse… A really difficult topic!
@Caanlu – Thanks for visiting. I agree with you, I think most of us are probably good at our core. You wouldn’t think so by watching the news lately, though!
@Tom – Hi, thanks for your comments. I think there is a fine balance between being naive and vulnerable, and being informative and educational without freaking them out! Your comments on selfishness bear a lot of truth.
@Gennaro – welcome, thanks for commenting. Certainly we have an element of free will, and have choices to make in every day life. This can determine which ‘path’ we go down, so to speak.
February 5th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Ross
Great questions!
My own opinion … at our core we are loving, caring, wonderful creatures and capable of amazing things. When we do ‘bad’ things (and I think we all do things at times that are not loving or caring) then I think we have momentarily lost connection with our core. And if that connection is lost (for whatever reason) for a period of time then we’re capable of doing the terrible things you talk about.
There are many forces we’ve created to disconnect us (’dumb down’ as I just read on another blog) and it can be hard not to succumb. I just refuse to believe that anyone is inherently evil … but I’d be incredibly naive to deny that a few people do sometimes do things that are evil.
As a society I think we need to protect ourselves from evil acts .. while at the same time attempting to help the person reconnect with their humanity. Simply labelling them as ‘monsters’ or ‘evil people’ avoids asking what made them that way – and what to do to bring them back. We deal with the symptoms but we also need to address the underlying causes.
Ian
February 5th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Hi Ross. I wonder how much of a shift there has been in proportion to the increase in population.
Thanks
February 6th, 2009 at 5:53 am
Ross,
Very thought-provoking post…I think sometimes things have to get really bad before change happens. It seems to me that history supports this…it’s sad that we don’t learn from it.
On the other hand, I do believe in the goodness of people and I think there ARE many wonderful things happening in the world today. We don’t get hear about them because, let’s face it, the media feeds on the negative more than the positive.
I think each of us should find a really positive news story and then share the link with our readers. I know they’re out there..oops, does this sound like the X-files???
Sara’s last blog post..A Facebook challenge with a twist!
February 6th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I would recommend People of the Lie. It’s not Peck’s best work, but a useful insight into a psychology of evil, especially relating to narcissism as disorder.
February 6th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
I agree with Daniel – the family unit, both immediate and extended doesn’t exist for a lot of people anymore.
I think the information age is also a problem too. Go online and you can find news from any city around the country/world where you didn’t have that kind of access 10, 15, 20+ years ago.
In general, I think people are inherently “good”, but it depends on each individual’s definition of right and wrong.
carla’s last blog post..President Obama moves forward to a cleaner environment
February 7th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Hi Ross – I believe all people are good and innocent at the core – even ruthless dictators – but many have bought into fear so much that they are malfunctioning. I personally believe those people will keep dying until they learn to love.
The bridge thing happened here in Melbourne and was shocking and unbelievable – especially coming on top of the heatwave. We felt everything was going mad!
Robin’s last blog post..The Genie That Keeps On Giving
February 7th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
@Ian – I can relate to a lot of what you have said. As a society (me included) we often don’t know what to do with these people. A ‘throw them out of town’ mentality develops, and I’ve jumped on board that train also. It’s hard not to when the crimes they have committed are so abhorrent, I guess. Regardless, at our core, I agree with you that we are loving, caring, and capable of amazing things.
@Skin care – Hi, thanks for visiting. I wonder this also! It definitely feels like percentages are higher these days, but that feeling might be skewed by technology and increasing awareness.
@Sara – thanks for commenting, I really like what you had to say on this topic. Also, I think it’s a great idea to promote ‘good stories’ a bit more. Sensationalism and controversy make up so much of mainstream media.
@Craig – thanks for that, I’ll keep an eye out…
@Carla – Hi there, hope you’re well! I agree the information age has a lot to do with it, and access / availability of information. I still wonder about if the percentages have shifted from say 100 years ago though…
@Robin – Hi, thanks for visiting… I like how you say “even ruthless dictators”! Yes, the Melbourne thing is really sad. And unbelievable. I think it made me take a step back and say “what on earth are we becoming?” Have a great week Robin.
February 8th, 2009 at 5:28 am
I think that we have more access to information and from that comes 2 things:
1-it seems to be “more” bad things happening and
2-bad things are becoming more common and less shocking.
The latest and worse is comparable to the last story.
Dee Langdon – BloggerNewbie’s last blog post..Do You Write Your Posts Each Day Or For The Week?
February 9th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Great article and discussions here. I guess my point of view is that everyone doesn’t still have a deep down moral compass for what is right and that they are aware of it. The problem is that the consequence and visibility of doing something against that moral compass actually has attractive returns in this society biased on power, greed and materialism so that anything selfish has an immediate payoff that counters any moral choice. This counter is massively visible and accepted widely so the moral compass has little impact in a world of accepted selfishness.
There is probably as much as there used to be, the consequence of actions though is fading so tolerance of immoral choices is becoming prevalent.
Mike King’s last blog post..GTD’s One Key Secret
February 17th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Ah Ross. Yes we are more aware. More aware of the atrocities of the human race. We never learn.
The economic situation we face just now is caused by exactly the same ethos as rapists, muggers, molestors and other evil doers. This self first, self second and self third greed is good attitude.
Then comes the fear brainwashed into the illiterate and ignorant by religious zealots.
Who is going to be saved? The Jew? the Muslim? The Catholic? The Evangelist. The Hindu? The Buddhist? Because they all believe that it will be them and not the other believers. As for me and my fellow aethists, well we are already doomed but we are enjoying ourselves with love, compassion, tolerance and a bit of understanding.
Something sadly lacking with the religious, unfortunately.
Take good care and spread a bit of tolerance and love. The Baldchemist
August 13th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
[...] while back I wrote a post titled The Heart of Life, where I mentioned that world news seems to be quite grim these days. The question behind that post [...]