The fragility of life: a wake up call
Sometimes it takes a wake up call for us to recognise what our real values are in life: how much we appreciate our loved ones, our families. The wake up call can come in many forms such as a near miss, a close call or minor accident that could have been fatal. A family member getting sick that makes you more appreciative of your own health. A partner threatening to walk out and leave if you don’t get your act together. Even seeing major events on TV like a building that collapses, an earthquake or fire: these things serve as reminders that we are not invulnerable, life can come and go in the blink of an eye.
I’ve been fortunate in my own life to not have a great deal of sickness or death in my extended family, but I do come across a lot of hurt, death and dying through my work. Here’s a situation from the other night that served as a wake up call for me:
A 16 year old girl was in a car crash at around 4 O’clock in the morning. She was brought into hospital with minor injuries, some neck and back pain, but nothing too major or life threatening. It turns out that she was the passenger in a car that had been driven a very short stretch up a suburban street by her friend, also a 16 year old girl that was unlicensed. The car hit a roundabout at speed and it appears that the car was thrown into the curb when the driver over-corrected, causing it to spin wildly.
So here is this girl, alone in the hospital while police are contacting the families involved. It made me think back to things that I had done when I was a teenager, and it made me think about my position now as a parent with a teenager. Decisions that we make always have consequences, but when you’re younger it’s hard to see that bigger picture sometimes. I’m not saying this excuses decisions made by teenagers, but our perspective and decision making is so much different as we get older.
I was reminded of some song lyrics from the greatest band ever, the Dave Matthews Band:
Everythings different
With my head in the clouds
I hit this corner
With my foot on the gas
I started sliding, I lose it
Everything’s different just like that
Oh my God, wait and see
What will soon become of me?
Frozen heart
Screaming wheels
Does that screaming come from me?
It’s amazing what a minute can do
Maybe there was alcohol involved, I’m certain there was speeding involved: regardless, when you see things through a parent’s eyes it’s hard to feel anything but compassion for this girl. Unfortunately her friend, the 16 year old driver, was killed in the crash.
It’s amazing what a minute can do.
Why did this happen? It’s not fair is it, for the driver’s parents to have to come and identify the body of a child. Can you picture yourself in this situtation? And life is full of these situations and extremes: great pleasures and excitements, horrible tragedies and loss.
For myself, I believe that I am here for a reason, my life has a plan. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? But for today, I’m pleased to be here.
It would be great to live in a state where we never take things for granted, where we are always thankful for our lives, our health and our families, but the routines of life and day to day living seem to preoccupy our thoughts so often. It’s like every now and again we need reminders of our place in life, and just how fleeting life is.
Life goes on: don’t give up! What are you looking for in life? Life’s not about ‘what’s better than’ Get excited about life! Blatantly Honest Responses to ‘Giving Up on Life’
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
We get so caught up in everyday life, we forget how fragile life is; ours and those whom we love. I have had several wake-up calls over the years. Wake up calls that hit me straight in the gut and tore out my heart, and calls that were more subtle. I don’t know if I believe in a “plan” that isn’t controlled by me, but I want to minimize regrets when it comes to those whom I love.
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Hi Carla. That’s true, some wake up calls are more subtle than others. Regarding a ‘plan’ – you’re right, we certainly do have free will and our actions and decisions have consequences. Personally, I also think there is a God watching out for us! I’ve always felt that things do happen for a reason, sometimes it’s not until many years down the track when we have the benefit of hindsight that we can maybe reason why certain events occurred. You made a good point about minimizing regrets re: those who you love, I think this is a really important thing to get from this post – make the most of the time we have, because none of us really know what tomorrow holds.
November 3rd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
One thing I have learned in the last 5 years as a widow, Life should never be taken for granted.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:24 pm
tomorrow is not promised or guaranteed
November 4th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Live life as and when it comes.. be ready the face any situation in life.. yesterday was history,tomorrow is a mystery, so life today.. that’z why itz called the present..
November 4th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
@Elaine Williams – Hi, thanks for visiting. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, I can’t imagine how much you must have suffered. I appreciate you taking the time to let others know of life not being taken for granted. All the best.
@Blogger – Words of wisdom!
@Bhavin – Thanks for the comment, I’m certainly trying to live life as and when it comes! Even though it’s cheezy, I like that history/mistery statement! It reminds me of when I used it at the bottom of a post when this site first started –> No One Believes In Me!.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
It’s true that we get these wake-up calls all of the time. What’s difficult is remembering them and not getting wrapped in the mundane details of life that really aren’t all that important.
My brother fell asleep driving and rolled the car one week after graduating from high school. He was lucky and only had a scratch on his leg. Really lucky! He wasn’t drinking he was just really overtired and was driving to work at 4-4:30am. I’m not sure if this wake-up call stayed with him or not but after being yelled at by his boss and his family he now calls and says he’s going to be late rather than driving when he’s exhausted.
It’s interesting that human nature does not generally allow us to appreciate the good until we experience the bad.
And Ross, you do not look old enough to have a teenager
November 6th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
@Kim – I appreciate your thoughts particularly regarding the way we appreciate the good only after something bad, it’s a strange part of life. I’m pleased your brother was not more seriously hurt, wow! And regarding your final comment – aha! A comment I’ve heard for many years now has finally transcended over to the online world!!! My eldest daughter is nearly 15, it’s been a particularly interesting year for me in the world of parenting, full of trial and error!! Regarding parenting and my age – I will probably post about this soon, it’s been quite an interesting part of my life. Quite personal, but I’ll probably end up sharing regardless! All the best.
November 7th, 2008 at 2:19 am
We either need a wake-up call from a shocking event during our days or a reminder from an individual such as yourself that has brought back the understanding that we sometimes forget. We have processes we go through and routines we haven’t altered for months, and a one-second event or change could instantly alter them for us in a way we did not expect was coming. A way to protect against this is to not get too attached to our routines, because the anguish of having them forcefully canceled could be a bit much.
November 7th, 2008 at 7:41 am
Hi Armen, I also seem to fall into the routines of life and take things for granted at times – “routines we haven’t altered for months” is a good way of putting it. Life is so precious, let’s make it special!
January 13th, 2009 at 2:19 am
[...] so it goes also with our health. Unless we get some kind of wake up call, we often take our health, our lives for granted to some [...]