Last night I was in an emergency cubicle with a man who was dying. He was 62 years old with end stage respiratory failure, and had a background of chronic emphysema. His wife was with him and was visibly upset at the state of his condition, even though he had struggled with his breathing for most of his life.
I was quite amazed at the conversation that transpired between this couple. She was trying to make him as comfortable as possible, getting extra pillows and asking him if he was ok. He was either unaware of the seriousness of this hospital visit or he had chosen to ignore it. Most of his limited conversation was about completely trivial things - the weather, the upcoming weekend.
At one point he whispered to his wife but she couldn’t hear him because he was wearing a large full faced mask hooked up to a bipap machine. She leaned closer, “what’s that dear?” I was also up close, and could barely make out what he was saying. What last words would he whisper, I thought to myself. I pictured myself in his position - maybe I would tell my wife how much I loved her, or enjoyed us being together. Maybe I would plea to my wife to continue enjoying life without me, find another partner if necessary! Don’t spend the rest of your only life lamenting my departure, I would tell her. I found myself once again pondering on how fleeting life is, how everything can change in a split second. Sometimes it takes a wake up call to truly appreciate things - you don’t realise how good it is to have a healthy body for instance until you become sick!
The man leant closer to his wife and repeated his question: “big lottery this weekend?” I was stunned. Big lottery?! What kind of last conversation is that! I thought about the question for a while, and realised he was just conversing with his wife like he would any other day of the week. He was sick all the time, and so this day was no different to any other. He was on automatic mode, and just spoke how he always would around the house.
It made me think about the things we retain as hopes and dreams. Hoping and wanting for something to happen is something most of us have done at some time or other. I remember when I was a broke university student, hoping that I would receive a call about some long distant relative who had left me a massive inheritance! I have long since learned that nothing will fall into your lap without making some decisions to take action and having the right attitude, but things like the lottery continue to consume people’s every day hopes and dreams.
I thought about my own life. What are my hopes and dreams? Certainly I’ve met some of my goals, but there’s a lot more that I want to achieve in life! It’s a good reminder that the best time to start is now. I also know one thing for sure - I do not want to be on my death bed talking about the lottery! Life is fleeting, who knows where we will be tomorrow! What are your goals, have you achieved them? What do you want to get out of life?
Take some time to think about where you are now and where you would like to be.
If you need to make some changes in your life, start today! Get on the road to enjoying life - don’t let it pass you by.
Oh, and the wife’s response to the “big lottery” question? She paused for a moment then looked over at me with sad eyes as she replied in his ear softly, “you might get lucky, dear”.
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My Grandfather was 92 when he died we foutunately we did have a meaningful last conversation but one thing he said that stuck with me was that “It all went by So fast” Here he was 92 and it seemed like a blur to him so even if you do have a lot of time left you need to make the most of it. Great article couldn’t agree more about taking action and making it happen for yourself (I rarely play the lottery except in work pools - I don’t want to be the only one left here
Hi Mike, thanks for your comment..
Wow that’s amazing - 92 and feeling like it’s all gone too fast!
Another thing I’ve noticed about the elderly is they are often frustrated that their body has given up before their mind - it’s a good reminder to do things your body can handle while you’re younger (eg, sport / climb a mountain etc) - you never know when you might not be able to do it again!
See you around
You have quite a knack for writing! This article did make me think of things in my life! It brought me back to my blog “Another Crossroad in my Life”. Great job, i wish i could have had some last words with my sister, but sometimes life has other plans.
Hi Tony, thanks for your comment…
You’re right - sometimes life does have other plans!
I’m checking your blog out now, interesting stuff….
Wow really thought provoking post Ross. I’ve had my grandmother die awhile ago and I don’t really remember it all to well cause it was back in 1995 so I was a little young but to this day I find myself still remembering things she did and I even just recently someone gave me one of her study bibles that has notes she wrote in it and everything and I constantly hear about things she did and how smart she was. She died in 95 bout 12 years ago and her legacy continues.
That’s how I want to be remembered in my life but my legacy, I want to leave a legacy behind so that people remember me for helping people instead of just living the ordinary life.
~ Jeremy Newton
Jeremy - I like your way of thinking…
Sometimes the memories of loved ones help us make decisions about how we will live our own lives.
I’d hate to live my life and realise toward the end that it’s too late to make a difference!
Your story is really touching. I felt it deep within me. Its a good thing some bloggers do blog about this things coz it makes as all human. I really love your blog and I am hoping to see it one day be one of the successful blog around.
Thanks web design, glad to have you here
>Another thing I’ve noticed about the elderly is they are often frustrated that their body has given up before their mind - it’s a good reminder to do things your body can handle while you’re younger (eg, sport / climb a mountain etc) - you never know when you might not be able to do it again!
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@Beha - Hi, thanks for your comments… It must be so frustrating when you’re with it mentally but your body is giving up. I’ve met many people that fit this bill, as you suggest - a good reminder to do things while you can!