So you’ve heard it all before? Part 1: Gratitude
This is part 1 of a four part series titled So You’ve Heard It All Before?
This short series began after I attended a school awards night. One of the speeches was on confidence, and the material presented was not exactly new. But it was compelling. And inspiring! So I really just want to pay tribute to something I was reminded of – sometimes it’s good to hear material we may have heard before! It helps reiterate what we already know, and gives us a fresh perspective from another person’s view point. From time to time we also learn something!
Gratitude
How many times have you thought to yourself “I’d be really happy if only I had…..” The ending to this line really depends on what is important to you, but maybe its “if only I had…
… a million dollars”
… a wife/husband” (or maybe a different wife/husband!)
… a new car / house / boat”
… children”
… a higher paying job”
… a winning lottery ticket!”
I’ve certainly used one or more of those lines before. I remember thinking to myself a few years back, “If I could make a heap of money, I’d be much happier!”
There were a few events that happened in my life that changed my way of thinking, however (I’ve mentioned one of them in a recent post here so I won’t bore you with it again!) Lately I’ve been spending more time being thankful for what I have in my life. It’s easy to take things for granted when they’re around you every day, it’s only when we take a step back and reflect on how much certain things really mean to us that we can truly be thankful and express gratitude.
What’s the point of being grateful?
There are a number of reasons. One of them is that your actions are dictated by your thoughts. When you start appreciating things more and being more grateful, it’s reflected in your behaviour. For example, if you are taking more time to reflect on and be grateful for your spouse or kids, it can change the way you act or react to different situations. I can attest to this in my own life – there have been times when it has helped me not to over-react when one of the kids does something wrong; instead I’ve found myself to be a little more tolerant, forgiving.
A great author by the name of Dr Wayne Dyer also talks about abundance and prosperity, and how these can be influenced by a scarcity mentality. If we believe and focus on scarcity, we evaluate our lives in terms of what is missing or lacking; we spend time focusing on what we need or want rather than being thankful for what we have. He states, “People believe they live a life of lack because they are unlucky, instead of recognizing that their belief system is rooted in scarcity thinking. Yet as long as they live with a scarcity mentality, that is what they will attract to their lives.” For those of you who have read or seen The Secret, this also corresponds with the concept of laws of attraction.
Having gratitude in your life therefore is not only beneficial for:
- Yourself, but also
- The people close to you, and
- Other people around you.
Show a little gratitude
What’s the best way to stop taking things for granted and show a little more gratitude? I normally start with myself. Every day I make sure I take time out to be thankful for my life – for my health, my sight, my strength. For the person I am right now, and the things I’m improving on.
Then I expand and move out from there – being thankful for the people close to me, my wife and kids. My family, my work. The possessions I have, the place I live, food, clothes. The great coffee I drank this morning! I think about recent events and situations in my life and try to be thankful for what I may have learned, even if it means turning negatives into positives – sometimes hindsight can give you a completely different perspective on things.
“The secret is to stop focusing on what we do not have, and shift our consciousness to an appreciation for all that we are and all that we do have” - Wayne Dyer
You can then begin to express that gratitude by doing things like:
- Buying flowers for your wife (something I need to do way more often!)
- Writing someone an email to appreciate a great article they wrote
- Phoning your brother or sister just to say hi
- Going above and beyond what is required of you at work
- Linking to great articles like this one from Billionaire Woman, or this one at Think Simple Now
- Volunteering your time to help someone in need
- Telling your kids how much you love and appreciate them, and showing them by spending time with them
A powerful aspect of gratitude is service to others – they really go hand in hand. Once you start improving on being grateful, there is a natural tendency to want to help other people more.
Gratitude is so important in life, and so often neglected. Taking a bit of time out to be thankful can have a positive, powerful impact on many areas of your life.
So you’ve heard it all before? Part 4: What Next?
So you’ve heard it all before? Part 3: Destiny
So you’ve heard it all before? Part 2: Confidence
Q&A with Leo Babauta of Zen Habits: Success
Reflecting on uniqueness



November 27th, 2008 at 8:53 am
If you focus positively on what you have, you’ll get what you would’ve wanted had you focused negatively on what you didn’t have, while the negative focus would’ve yielded nothing but unhappiness.
That’s what I got from this article. I like it! Keep working optimistically.
Richard X. Thripp’s last blog post..Photo: The Tired Tree
November 27th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
“Whatever you focus your thoughts on, expands”
- Wayne Dyer
This is a great quote. I believe that by focusing on the abundance mentality, naturally there will be more abundance in our life.
There is also a great tendency to fall back into the scarcity mentality by thinking about so many things that we lack and the only way to get back to the abundance mentality is to show gratitude to things you have in the present.
Great post, Ross. Keep up the good work!
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Vincent’s last blog post..10 Tips To Help You Lose Weight Healthily
November 27th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
@Richard – Hi, thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment. “Keep working optimistically” – nice!
@Vincent – Hi, I appreciate your support – thanks again for taking the time to comment, Vincent. It’s always a great reminder to keep our focus in the right direction.
November 27th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I completely agree with this article!
I would add how important it is to also develop the capacity to receive gratitude from others (and not only to give it). Next time someone gives you, for example, some service, gift, or verbal appreciation – just stop and really take into your heart the gratitude they are expressing to you.
Resist the temptation to say ‘thank you’ until you have really felt and accepted their gratitude towards you.
Great post. Ian
Ian Peatey’s last blog post..Love in the time of technology
November 27th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
@Ian – Hi, thanks for visiting. Great tip, I’ve also found its hard to stop and say “thanks” sometimes in response to compliments etc. The natural inclination is to say “don’t be silly”! I like how you suggest to take a minute more and receive the gratitude before throwing it away with an offhand “thank you”. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
November 27th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Thank you so much Ross. I think gratitude is something we all know we need to focus on more, but we sometimes just get wrapped up in other things.
I love this series.
Nathalie Lussier from Billionaire Woman’s last blog post..“You Shouldn’t Have!” Gift Giving Theories To Simplify Your Life
November 27th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Lovely article!
It’s interesting that it’s sometimes easier to look at what is wrong than to observe what is right.
I’ve tried something that really works for me. I wear a rubber band around my wrist and – whenever I notice that I’ve lost my feeling of gratitude, I change it to the other wrist.
November 27th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Hi Ross – Great post with a wonderful twist. When we’re grateful, it suddenly seems like we have enough, doesn’t it? If we’re not grateful now, when will we ever be? Happy Thanksgiving!
Betsy’s last blog post..GRATITUDE
November 28th, 2008 at 12:25 am
@Nathalie – Hi, thanks for commenting.. I really did like that article, too!
@Mary – Thanks for your comment. Interesting technique there with the rubber band, does it work?
@Betsy – Hi, and thanks! You’re right, we’re not as intent on having more and more if we take the time to be thankful for what we already have.
November 28th, 2008 at 12:31 am
[...] So you’ve heard it all before? Part 1: Gratitude For example, if you are taking more time to reflect on and be grateful for your spouse or kids, it can change the way you act or react to different situations. I can attest to this in my own life – there have been times when it has … [...]
November 28th, 2008 at 4:43 am
Hi Ross,
Do you know the most grateful day in my life? I was then working with homeless, street children who lived on their own in this huge Eastern European capital.
I am not that grateful for having a bed, or three meals a day, or not being called at names, usually, or be able to enter in shops
What I am grateful for, is for the opportunity of being with them. Don’t ask why; I don’t know myself.
(Oh boy, you made me remember and now I’m too happy to make a coherent comment)
Miguel de Luis’s last blog post..Gratitude
November 28th, 2008 at 6:35 am
Well don’t we always think of materialistic things always. We should be grateful for what we have. I totally agree with what you saying.
Car Blog’s last blog post..Awesome JBL Swifts
November 28th, 2008 at 9:12 am
@Miguel – Wow, interesting statement. I’m really happy for you that you were able to help those in need. The fact that gratitude ties in with this confirms to me that gratitude is strongly connected with serving others. Thanks for commenting.
@Car Blog – Hi, welcome – sometimes we get caught up in what we’d like to have rather than seeing what is right in front of us! Thanks for visiting.
November 28th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Ross,
Looking forward to the rest of this series. I do make sure that I take time to be grateful for what I have, but it is all too easy to get bogged down wanting more, rather than appreciating what you already have.
Cheers,
Chris
Chris (from Lifestyle Project)’s last blog post..What will you do today?
November 29th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
[...] Will it change you: portal for personal growth Change your life today! HomeAboutContactDonateQuotesArchives « So you’ve heard it all before? Part 1: Gratitude [...]
November 29th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
@Chris – Cheers mate. I hear what you’re saying! Thanks for the visit.
December 1st, 2008 at 10:40 am
This is a great article on gratitude, Ross. And a great time to hear this message. It’s a perfect message as we approach the holidays, and sometimes that means added stress – and we forget about all the great things we already have in our lives. I love your idea of starting each day with what you are thankful for – I’m going to work on incorporating that into my mornings! Thanks for writing this Ross!
Lance’s last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm
[...] This is part 3 of a four part series titled So You’ve Heard It All Before? 1: Gratitude 2: Confidence 3: Destiny 4. What [...]
December 4th, 2008 at 2:52 am
I have been a bit busy.So I am just getting to your posts.
This is a great series,Ross.
I cant wait to read the next 3.
Showing gratitude feels as good as receiving it.
Often I find people who are shocked to say the least when they are shown gratitude.I think this may because it is natural for them to be caring.
Cheers and on to the next!
Bunny got Blog’s last blog post..What Works For Us When Working From Home
December 8th, 2008 at 5:27 am
[...] This is part 4 of a four part series titled So You’ve Heard It All Before? 1: Gratitude 2: Confidence 3: Destiny 4. What [...]
December 8th, 2008 at 11:22 am
[...] it’s worth catching: Ross at Will it Change You? – Your Portal for Personal Growth gives us “So you’ve heard it all before? Part 1: Gratitude.” Though we may have run across these ideas before, Ross notes there are some things worth being [...]