credit: morgan childers

Newlyweds! What a great time.. All gooey and gushy over each other! You feel like you would do anything at all for your partner, and you can’t believe that you’ve found someone who feels equally about you! All the mushiness is layed on so thick that it’s borderline sickening for onlookers! (or is that jealousy?!)

I remember in particular the first few months of my marriage - I was flat, FLAT broke and living in a tiny unit. We didn’t have that build up of essential stuff that all homes have after a while, so we were trying to build up slowly. Things like paper towels, cleaning products, basic cookware, glasses - some people are fortunate enough to have all these things covered by wedding gifts, but you still often discover you are missing things!

After the first year things tend to pan out a little. You start to get used to each others little habits, and the blinders you were wearing get taken off, exposing peripheral vision that can be both enlightening and detrimental to a couple.

In the first few years of my marriage, my wife and I argued quite often! I think this is partly because we are both strong headed people and like to get our opinion across, but on reflection I’ve discovered there’s probably a little more to the story.

credit: elventear

Many people like to give you advice when you are in those first few years. Some of the advice I received was good, some was based purely on other people’s experiences rather than my own, and was applicable only to someone else’s relationship. The truth is, your own personal experience will be different from everyone else. But in all honesty, your marriage will become stale and boring unless you work at making it work, and really take on board advice from people who have gone through it before!

Don’t believe it? Check out the world divorce statistics…

Advice for newlyweds

The W network have collated a couple interesting tips for newlyweds as follows, check it out:

• “Don’t panic about the ‘forever, til death do us part’ bit. Remember that the future only comes one day at the time. Also, separate bathrooms. This is truly the key to long term happiness.” — Kristina Matisic, Shopping Bags
• “Don’t listen to advice from non-married people. Just have fun and loads of sex!” — Tricia Braun , “Lana” from The Smart Woman’s Survival Guide
• “My best advice for newlyweds is to enjoy and appreciate each other, communicate honestly with each other and keep sticky family and friend fingers out of your personal decision making. It is a tough world these days for keeping relationships strong - make it a ’small circle’ and keep it tight.” — Evelyn Eshun, Take This House and Sell It

credit: Jason.Hudson
• “My best advice for newlyweds is to truly respect one another. Another key thing is to take time for one another as well as still maintain time away from each other - meaning, do not smother one another. You still need to have a life of your own so take time for other friends as well. No ball-and-chains allowed!” — Margie White-Doyle, Take This House and Sell It
• “Don’t take your inlaws with you on your honeymoon!” — Jackie Dennison, Rescue Mediums

What would I tell myself back when I was newly wed, if I had the benefit of many years of reflection? Based on where I’m at now, the things I feel are really important are:

• Don’t be selfish
• Have plans for your money habits (saving and spending)
• Life is short, don’t waste it
• Appreciate how blessed you are in finding each other
• Keep calm in your arguments, don’t fight to the death to prove you’re right!
• Be careful of your words - they can’t be taken back
• Accept your partner for who they are - they’re different to you!
• Maintain high moral standards and respect for each other

As an added bonus, check out this great video on the sad truth about relationships!

What are your thoughts - do you have any tips or experiences you’ve picked up along the way?