If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably discovered by now that it’s a nice feeling when other people like you! Unfortunately you can’t really waltz to up to someone and say “hey, wanna like me?” but there are a few things we all can do to make ourselves more likable.

credit: Jill Greenseth

Often when we go about day to day activities, we’re our own worst enemy when it comes to how other people perceive us.  A lot of the time the desire to be liked or wanted comes second to our established character traits and idiosyncrasies - the very things that turn other people away!

So here are 5 quick beginner tips on improving your likability!

1. Stop talking about yourself so much - people don’t always want to hear about you!  I know, this one sounds pretty obvious, but you would be amazed at the amount of people who talk non-stop about themselves.  Nothing is more of a turn off than sitting in a staff room with one loud skwarker talking about her hair, her money, her daughter’s dance recital, her sore throat…
2. Look into people’s eyes and smile - have you ever been at a dinner party, where you’re having an ‘ice-break’ conversation with someone? You know, “so…. what do you do?” etc.  As you’re telling the person about how you work for Bank of England, you notice their gaze is on something else in the room.  This sends out a big signal called “I could really care less about what you are saying, who else can I talk to instead of you?”
3. Mimic the person’s facial expressions - this can help establish a rapport with the person.  If they look upset, don’t start smiling! Lean your head to the left slightly if that’s what they are doing.  You’ll find you establish a greater connection with the person & improve your likability.
4. Develop really good listening habits - blurting something out before thinking about it has caused so many problems for people!  Sometimes part of being a good listener means thinking about what you’ve heard before you speak.  If you want to be liked more, really listen to what people are saying to you.  Be slow to respond, and show that you’ve heard what they said by reiterating things they have said.
5. Give compliments where they are due - some people find this hard to do.  Just as it takes strength of character and practice to be able to say “I’m sorry” when it’s due, you also should make a deliberate effort to give people praise and thanks where it is due.  This can be done in a variety of ways - send and email, send some flowers, tell a third party about someone while the person is listening.

Improving your likability and character is not an overnight thing.  But, you can start today to make some changes!  Start with these 5 tips, and make a deliberate effort to be someone people like to have around!