Becoming a better person

If you are completely happy with your life and people think you’re amazing 100% of the time, that’s great! Don’t even worry about reading this post, you can go on your merry way now. If you’re like me however, and recognize that there are always things that can be changed or improved in your life, read on!

* Also, I should just mention that this post is intended for people who are generally unsatisfied for some reason or other. Now if that reason happens to be because you’ve done something bad and are filled with guilt, or maybe you just need some background info before getting to the heart of this article, consider reading about stepping outside your comfort zone, controlling your emotions or dealing with regret first. Then feel free to come on back!

Becoming a better person

From time to time in life I get feelings of dissatisfaction for some reason or other. Maybe it’s because of work if I’m having a bad week, or maybe its because of money, or maybe I just recognise that I’m not happy with myself at that particular time. When this happens I start to think about exactly what kind of improvements I can make in my own life, or how I can become a better person in general. I also know that some of the more common search strings on the net revolve around ‘being a better person’ or ‘how to be a better person’, so I’m not alone here in my quest for self-improvement!

The trouble is, thinking about becoming better is easy… Actually making and implementing change in your life is really, really hard, particularly if you want it to be lasting rather than temporary change.

Likewise, reading and reading and reading self-help articles will not magically make your life better, faster and stronger!

Let me spare you the cliché suggestions here on how to tackle lasting change – I’m sure many suggestions like “simply decide to change” and “tell yourself to be better” really do have merit within a given context, but let’s take a step back for a minute and discover what we’re really looking for here, because the concept of being ‘better’ is rather vague and diverse.

Some of the things I’ve thought about doing when I consider making changes in my own life have revolved around helping others – charity work, voluntary work etc. These kinds of acts are all great things, and are really beneficial for ourselves and others, however I can’t help but always come back to the thought that becoming a better person is not really about how many good deeds you’ve done this week.

Who gets to decide if you’re a better person or not? Is it peer judged, based on our friends count or popularity? Or is it intrinsic – determined by how much we like ourselves, our self-esteem and level of self-regard?

In my opinion becoming a better person has less to do with counting the hours we’ve spent volunteering, and more to do with what goes on inside – our thought processes and how we perceive ourselves and others, our actions based on the decisions we make, what we say and do to other people and our personal standards.

From this, I think it’s fair to say that although recognition for achievements is important in life, to be truly satisfied we also have to be happy with ourselves.

In order for this to occur, to become a better person, we should focus on three key areas:

  • Committing to high standards
  • Continuing to challenge ourselves, and
  • Changing the way we communicate with others


In other words, ask yourself:

  1. Are my standards in life high? Note – if you don’t mind getting rollicking drunk while you’re looking after kids at home then the answer is no! Your standards of parenting are rather low.
  2. Am I challenging myself? Are you pushing outside your comfort zone or fulfilling the role that was intended for your life? Why not?
  3. Do I communicate to others with respect? Or are you a self-centered loud talker? Here’s an interesting exercise – before answering someone, imagine yourself as the recipient of the comment you’re about to make. If someone else were to say that comment to you, would you be happy about it? Angry? Would it make you feel patronised or belittled?!

Give it a go this week – make a dedicated commitment to focus on those three key areas, and start to consistently become the person you would like to be.

For more on this subject, check out eHow’s article titled How To Become a Better Person or a very comprehensive list of 100 blogs that will inspire you to be a better person.

If you want to take the plunge and invest in some very affordable courses or material, I recommend you start with 30 Days to Change Your Life. To your success!