Giving and receiving: a new approach

If it’s by some obscure sequence of clicks that you’ve landed on this post, welcome! You’re in for a treat: to be challenged on the way we think about giving and receiving.


credit: echoesofstars

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably interested in making your life count for something. We may have different agendas, but hopefully share some common goals. One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is the delicate balance that exists between self and others; that is, weighing up how much time we devote to improving our own lives and how much we devote to helping other people.

It’s an interesting challenge! Personal growth, self-improvement, satisfaction – many of these concepts revolve around our selves. “How can I make more money? How can I be happier? How can I improve myself?” These are questions I’m sure most of us have asked ourselves at some stage. The interesting paradox is that part of the answer lies in doing just the opposite: thinking about others more, being selfless.

This week I’ve heard a message by a man named Jason Hamlin. By means of a massive undertaking of his, the Genesis Project, Jason helps provide food and essentials to large numbers of people who have been affected by poverty, hunger and lack.

When someone has devoted their life to Repairing People & Restoring Lives as Jason has, it makes me sit up and take notice. His enthusiasm and charisma alone are enough to be inspiring and challenging, but part of the content of what he spoke on raised some interesting thoughts that I’d like to discuss.

Giving and Receiving

Have a think about the context in which you last heard this statement:
“Give and you shall receive!” or, “Give and it shall be given unto you!” Was it for legitimate means, like encouraging you to be more giving and selfless, or was it by someone who was requesting money? Here’s something controversial: how many times have you heard that line delivered by preachers or late night tele-evangelists?


credit: Xave Ignacio

 
Giving and receiving is not a new concept. It can be found in scripture, and it’s also professed by millionaires that have no religious affiliation. Chinese philosophy talks of balancing of energies, of opposites complimenting each other. The concept of karma suggests what goes around comes around. Whichever way you look at it, there’s enough evidence across the void of cultures and beliefs to suggest that you are much more likely to have good favour in your life when you have a spirit of giving.

This concept often comes with qualifying factors, however. One of them is that the giving cannot be done solely for the purpose of getting something back.
“There’s my $10 to charity, now where’s my money!?”
You might call it energy, or joy, attitude, whatever – the point of giving to others is that it should be done in a positive and happy way, not in one where you are resenting the action, or expecting something back.

I was further introduced to some qualifying ideas on giving and receiving by Jason Hamlin. Jason suggests that the phrase regarding giving and receiving is often misused in modern culture by people who really are trying to satisfy their own agenda, and are wanting something back. He suggests that the concept is not just referring to money, as is often suggested, but some principles of life. When we think about giving and receiving in terms of giving of ourselves to others, we need to also address some other areas of our life: specifically, ensuring we are not being judgmental or condemning people, and maintaining an attitude of forgiveness (easier said than done!).

I love the idea of improving my own life where I am able to. The idea here is that when you address these areas of your life first, you are in a position where you have an attitude of giving. As a follow up bonus reward, this is when you start to see things coming back to you! I’ve experienced this first hand, and I believe it to be true. This doesn’t always have to be money, this can be any number of things: love, help, finances, friendship…


credit: eocs

“You reap what you sow…”

I’m the first person to admit that I judge people. It’s hard not to sometimes! I’ve often found myself muttering to other people about how someone did something I didn’t like. Then I have the audacity to mutter about people who are always complaining! These are areas I’m working on however – I’m slowly improving!

The Extended Version of Giving and Receiving

 
Here’s a model to think about:

  • Stop judging people based on their past – people can surprise you.
  • Don’t be so quick to condemn, to disapprove of people and make declarations about them.
  • Forgive people when they’ve done something wrong to you, or you feel you’ve been hardly done by for some reason.
  • Give of yourself in many areas of life – your money, your time, your gratitude and love.

The follow on is that when you practice these main areas, you find they will happen back to you. People will be less judgmental of you. People will be more forgiving. You will receive.

As usual, I’m interested to hear your thoughts and experiences!