Comments on: Giving up on life http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/ The Best in Personal Growth Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:57:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Fairy Tale - get real http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-16555 Fairy Tale - get real Sun, 18 Jul 2010 23:27:38 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-16555 I fell in love pulled myself apart al rational went out of the window and that sensible independant lady I had woeked so hard to find the sweet girl he first met comppetly vanished.... I asked so many people they were all like hes insescure youve done nothing wrong blar blar blar I was so out of tune with myself I listened to them Id feel ok and then feel awaful and I should have known that if I felt the need to ask so many people that In needed to talk to him!! Instead we broke it off because he was like you want to get seriouse I like you but like I said I was engaged for 3 years it ended last year its taken a year to get to here thisis heavy and I cant give you the assurences you need. Deversated isnt the word I dragged that out of him then left him at the station. He sent a pleading text saying cal me back when you get home... I didnt... he still tested and called I didnt respond. Then I spiralled into crazy tests and emails mad at him trying to work out why what happened into a complete mess until it hit me... you did this it was flow9ng it5 was picture perefect he was right there saying and doing all of the right things Id waited 4years for a guy to do that I though I could never love again and I didnt realise why id gotten myself so worked up and then it hit me this is the same as at 21 this is heartbreak shit!!! And worser still this is regret!!! Regaret that I stumpt the growth when things were flowing, regret I even spoke to then other guy when I new this guy wasnt, Regret I hurt thenother vguy breaking it off after 4 weeks he was hurt at me, Regret that I never just explained myself like its nothing just a few dates nothing more, Regret that after agreeing to carry on I didnt just continue to be myself and show he the lady all of my friedns knew the nlady he first me, How a simple explenation and assurence conversation can feel so easy now and yet in the situation I couldnt see it, Regret for not testing the waters some more holdijg back as I always had done and for allowing myself to fall ridicukously in Love when the pain was not at all worth the sacrific for a 3 month thing at all !!! Regert for not calling him back that night for the calls the texts the emails I never thought I could do that to mmyself I didnt realise what I was doing or what I was giving away. Without them I may have just salvaged somthing!!! I gave away my pride my dignity my strength nand eveything Id stood for for the past 4years!!! No guy or girl would respect me tyhen way I acted!!! I alienated my friends my family, felt ashamed to be in my home I was like the girl who has this amazing life appartment and carear does not do this so I camped out at family homes for 3 weeks rejected my appartment. Lost a stone and ahalf in June, slept a lot, suffered panic attacks with regret like how could you do this to yoirself, fled my job for a week to turkey last minuet which I have never done ever I love my job toom much but I just could not stop crying. Whilst there I laid on a bed wishing to pass in sleep because at 21 I could say I was nieve I could say I didnt know any better but at 25 I was supposed to have it all together. I couldnt believe Id dared to ask for more when I had so much already and was in the best place I had ever been really enjoying life and loving myself. I couldnt beliebe where Id stared in February and where I had fallen to in june laying in the dark cursing myself telling myself I was a bad person had slapped fate in the face and set myself back years! I headed for thearpy when I got home somthingelse I hadnt done since 21. I saw the guy Id cancel the date with new it was wrong told him the ntruth to experiment and see if someone realy wants you will they want you anyway, he does but I notice that same resentment and being knocked from the pedastal. Im like you cant learn first time round you have to do again. I tried to date again ended up have rebund on a first date which seemed a real good idea tyhen I was like what are you doing other than carrying on then cycle of sabotage Id proded myself on never being that kind of girl!!! Im back at work now its the only place my life feels real but inside I feel complettly broken and shattared like nothing matters anymore and I hate it I hate it all it doesnt belong in my life I just want to cut it out. It took 4 years to feel whole and I pulled it apart in just a few short months and that beatutiful young girl with eveything I let her down I completly diminished her and Im still letting her down everyday that I continue this but I cant stop eveyday I crash at some point and I hate that I have given her this emotiona hurdle to comprehend because I know all to well you cant just flick a switch and you can feel empty for a long time. At 21 it was obviuse what to do - I had a whole world to change and grow. At 25 Ive done all of those things and its like this is too nhard I dont want to get up I dont want to do this nagain Ive done it all already there is no compensation for this... I have never fallen down so hard and not been able to get back up again and I just want to cry when I think of what Ive done to myself....... I cannot help myself Im spiralling and Im loosing and yet I have so much... Ive never been so surrounded with blessings and people and felt soempty and that just makes me feel even mire opf a worce person.... I fell in love pulled myself apart al rational went out of the window and that sensible independant lady I had woeked so hard to find the sweet girl he first met comppetly vanished…. I asked so many people they were all like hes insescure youve done nothing wrong blar blar blar I was so out of tune with myself I listened to them Id feel ok and then feel awaful and I should have known that if I felt the need to ask so many people that In needed to talk to him!! Instead we broke it off because he was like you want to get seriouse I like you but like I said I was engaged for 3 years it ended last year its taken a year to get to here thisis heavy and I cant give you the assurences you need. Deversated isnt the word I dragged that out of him then left him at the station. He sent a pleading text saying cal me back when you get home… I didnt… he still tested and called I didnt respond. Then I spiralled into crazy tests and emails mad at him trying to work out why what happened into a complete mess until it hit me… you did this it was flow9ng it5 was picture perefect he was right there saying and doing all of the right things Id waited 4years for a guy to do that I though I could never love again and I didnt realise why id gotten myself so worked up and then it hit me this is the same as at 21 this is heartbreak shit!!! And worser still this is regret!!! Regaret that I stumpt the growth when things were flowing, regret I even spoke to then other guy when I new this guy wasnt, Regret I hurt thenother vguy breaking it off after 4 weeks he was hurt at me, Regret that I never just explained myself like its nothing just a few dates nothing more, Regret that after agreeing to carry on I didnt just continue to be myself and show he the lady all of my friedns knew the nlady he first me, How a simple explenation and assurence conversation can feel so easy now and yet in the situation I couldnt see it, Regret for not testing the waters some more holdijg back as I always had done and for allowing myself to fall ridicukously in Love when the pain was not at all worth the sacrific for a 3 month thing at all !!! Regert for not calling him back that night for the calls the texts the emails I never thought I could do that to mmyself I didnt realise what I was doing or what I was giving away. Without them I may have just salvaged somthing!!! I gave away my pride my dignity my strength nand eveything Id stood for for the past 4years!!! No guy or girl would respect me tyhen way I acted!!! I alienated my friends my family, felt ashamed to be in my home I was like the girl who has this amazing life appartment and carear does not do this so I camped out at family homes for 3 weeks rejected my appartment. Lost a stone and ahalf in June, slept a lot, suffered panic attacks with regret like how could you do this to yoirself, fled my job for a week to turkey last minuet which I have never done ever I love my job toom much but I just could not stop crying. Whilst there I laid on a bed wishing to pass in sleep because at 21 I could say I was nieve I could say I didnt know any better but at 25 I was supposed to have it all together. I couldnt believe Id dared to ask for more when I had so much already and was in the best place I had ever been really enjoying life and loving myself. I couldnt beliebe where Id stared in February and where I had fallen to in june laying in the dark cursing myself telling myself I was a bad person had slapped fate in the face and set myself back years! I headed for thearpy when I got home somthingelse I hadnt done since 21. I saw the guy Id cancel the date with new it was wrong told him the ntruth to experiment and see if someone realy wants you will they want you anyway, he does but I notice that same resentment and being knocked from the pedastal. Im like you cant learn first time round you have to do again. I tried to date again ended up have rebund on a first date which seemed a real good idea tyhen I was like what are you doing other than carrying on then cycle of sabotage Id proded myself on never being that kind of girl!!! Im back at work now its the only place my life feels real but inside I feel complettly broken and shattared like nothing matters anymore and I hate it I hate it all it doesnt belong in my life I just want to cut it out. It took 4 years to feel whole and I pulled it apart in just a few short months and that beatutiful young girl with eveything I let her down I completly diminished her and Im still letting her down everyday that I continue this but I cant stop eveyday I crash at some point and I hate that I have given her this emotiona hurdle to comprehend because I know all to well you cant just flick a switch and you can feel empty for a long time. At 21 it was obviuse what to do – I had a whole world to change and grow. At 25 Ive done all of those things and its like this is too nhard I dont want to get up I dont want to do this nagain Ive done it all already there is no compensation for this… I have never fallen down so hard and not been able to get back up again and I just want to cry when I think of what Ive done to myself……. I cannot help myself Im spiralling and Im loosing and yet I have so much… Ive never been so surrounded with blessings and people and felt soempty and that just makes me feel even mire opf a worce person….

]]> By: Fairy Tale - get real http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-16552 Fairy Tale - get real Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:52:23 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-16552 still completly love. Found my family and adore them. I tried every new thing I wanted explored every inch of my soul until I felt whole all by myself. I trusted myself I thought I knew myself inside out. My sister and frinds looked up to me I was the sensible girl with her bhead screwed on!! The person people came to for advise. I met a guy at 23 who I liked a lot I dated many guys at 21 but never persued anything at 23 I had a fun summer I was honest with him up front I couldnt get seriouse he wanted to get married - but he wasnt my first love it wasnt love I let him go he married. I always felt loveless was open but always disapointed. I was the girl who always liked to tease but wuld never take the plunge because no one was anything like my first. For 2 years I didnt date or anything it felt good I felt powerful I was in control of my happyness. At 25 I had the best year of my life I did things for me and for the first year since 21 I felt free, settled in my home, my alone time was a gift I felt no need to go out I loved the simplemthings being with my friends and family what ever they had I was happy for tyhem but Inever once felt alone or unhappy or like somthing was missing. Sure I thought of love I thught one day I dont make then rules weell just see. I met a guy end of oct stayed till end of jan this year I played the game as you do I didnt tell anyone - let himmchase test call, even if I ws freaking out inside I never told him I showed only the best of me. After 3 months I said I needed mo0re contact I needed to know I was building on somthing I needed assurence this wasnt just a booty call he couldnt give me any assurences simple as a regular phone call so I left I felt fine I was happy with how I handles it I thught tyo myself I am ready for this. So Feb2010 with Mars in Leo till June, a massie Zodiac T- Zone in then best place I had ever been i9n my life at 25 with freinds, family, self knowledge, own home carear car and love I signed to match.com with the idea to 'MAKE LOVE HAPPEN'. I truley believe when you are in the best place life brings great things to you and it did. I had 6 dates each guy I mailed messged me back it felt so easy I was like I should have tried this ages ago! I met a romanic soulful guy and clicked in conversation from the start he scared me because he said and did all of the right things but instead of taking things slow I pushed too hard I was so affraid of being hurt of taking that risk I was like I want it all or nothing. I was justbtoo honest - Id decided in my head to see him alone by our 4th date and to cancel another date with a guy id been speking to for a few weeks I just didnt need to tell hm mthat it changed everything he thught we were just seeing eachother and thats all I ever wanted as well I dont know what I was thinking!! Its somthing Id have never hae done in the real world match brought out a side to me I dont like I was like I can pick and choose I want somthing nreal so before I let an option slide I have to know if your for real... It doesnt sound so bad but for a guy whoes pulling out all of the stops I didnt realise it would make me seem arrogant, make him feel insecuere, li9ke oh now Im not sure would I choose her over others, he already told me he could be jelouse hed given me all then assurences I culd need I just had to push the extra button!! We still carried on for 2 months after that but t was never the same I hadnt got the response I was looking for so I freaked I became insecure vulnerable needy reading into every missed call or text. I notice on reflection a few occasions when he wanted assurence from me I was only seeing him nand I dint give it I was blind to it. I Yelled at him like why dont you ever respond to my calls and texts when it had never bothared me before. I was off that pedastal the tabels had turned and in the process still completly love. Found my family and adore them. I tried every new thing I wanted explored every inch of my soul until I felt whole all by myself. I trusted myself I thought I knew myself inside out. My sister and frinds looked up to me I was the sensible girl with her bhead screwed on!! The person people came to for advise. I met a guy at 23 who I liked a lot I dated many guys at 21 but never persued anything at 23 I had a fun summer I was honest with him up front I couldnt get seriouse he wanted to get married – but he wasnt my first love it wasnt love I let him go he married. I always felt loveless was open but always disapointed. I was the girl who always liked to tease but wuld never take the plunge because no one was anything like my first. For 2 years I didnt date or anything it felt good I felt powerful I was in control of my happyness. At 25 I had the best year of my life I did things for me and for the first year since 21 I felt free, settled in my home, my alone time was a gift I felt no need to go out I loved the simplemthings being with my friends and family what ever they had I was happy for tyhem but Inever once felt alone or unhappy or like somthing was missing. Sure I thought of love I thught one day I dont make then rules weell just see. I met a guy end of oct stayed till end of jan this year I played the game as you do I didnt tell anyone – let himmchase test call, even if I ws freaking out inside I never told him I showed only the best of me. After 3 months I said I needed mo0re contact I needed to know I was building on somthing I needed assurence this wasnt just a booty call he couldnt give me any assurences simple as a regular phone call so I left I felt fine I was happy with how I handles it I thught tyo myself I am ready for this. So Feb2010 with Mars in Leo till June, a massie Zodiac T- Zone in then best place I had ever been i9n my life at 25 with freinds, family, self knowledge, own home carear car and love I signed to match.com with the idea to ‘MAKE LOVE HAPPEN’. I truley believe when you are in the best place life brings great things to you and it did. I had 6 dates each guy I mailed messged me back it felt so easy I was like I should have tried this ages ago! I met a romanic soulful guy and clicked in conversation from the start he scared me because he said and did all of the right things but instead of taking things slow I pushed too hard I was so affraid of being hurt of taking that risk I was like I want it all or nothing. I was justbtoo honest – Id decided in my head to see him alone by our 4th date and to cancel another date with a guy id been speking to for a few weeks I just didnt need to tell hm mthat it changed everything he thught we were just seeing eachother and thats all I ever wanted as well I dont know what I was thinking!! Its somthing Id have never hae done in the real world match brought out a side to me I dont like I was like I can pick and choose I want somthing nreal so before I let an option slide I have to know if your for real… It doesnt sound so bad but for a guy whoes pulling out all of the stops I didnt realise it would make me seem arrogant, make him feel insecuere, li9ke oh now Im not sure would I choose her over others, he already told me he could be jelouse hed given me all then assurences I culd need I just had to push the extra button!! We still carried on for 2 months after that but t was never the same I hadnt got the response I was looking for so I freaked I became insecure vulnerable needy reading into every missed call or text. I notice on reflection a few occasions when he wanted assurence from me I was only seeing him nand I dint give it I was blind to it. I Yelled at him like why dont you ever respond to my calls and texts when it had never bothared me before. I was off that pedastal the tabels had turned and in the process

]]> By: Fairy Tale - get real http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-16550 Fairy Tale - get real Sun, 18 Jul 2010 22:27:57 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-16550 Ok obviousley despret to even concider finding hope to the darkest place I feel Ive ever been just by asking google what to do when you give up on life! Really what I meant was 'what to do0 when life and fate through you chances and you make mistakes nout of fear and vulerability and instead of embraceing li8fe you find yourself missing an oppoutunity and lying on the floor riddled with regret and conumed with self blame knowing you had the world at your fingertips. Completly affraid that you will always regret this time in your life woundering what if. At 21 Iost my first love it was a car crash it was ugly I had nothing an know one but I knew myself better than I could have ever imagined and powered thrugh with a strength which changed ky who life. I build every inch of my world solid. Derailed, therapy, self help & development booked, networked went out constantly brough friends together, went on holidays, plughed into work built myself a carear briugh my own new build appartment at 23 found an amazing carear the dream job and I Ok obviousley despret to even concider finding hope to the darkest place I feel Ive ever been just by asking google what to do when you give up on life! Really what I meant was ‘what to do0 when life and fate through you chances and you make mistakes nout of fear and vulerability and instead of embraceing li8fe you find yourself missing an oppoutunity and lying on the floor riddled with regret and conumed with self blame knowing you had the world at your fingertips. Completly affraid that you will always regret this time in your life woundering what if.

At 21 Iost my first love it was a car crash it was ugly I had nothing an know one but I knew myself better than I could have ever imagined and powered thrugh with a strength which changed ky who life. I build every inch of my world solid. Derailed, therapy, self help & development booked, networked went out constantly brough friends together, went on holidays, plughed into work built myself a carear briugh my own new build appartment at 23 found an amazing carear the dream job and I

]]> By: Chad http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-16267 Chad Tue, 06 Jul 2010 23:54:43 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-16267 Korey and Lindsay. You both remind me so much of how I actually feel all the time. I am tired and ready to go somewhere. Just not here any longer. Thank you for your postings. Korey and Lindsay.
You both remind me so much of how I actually feel all the time. I am tired and ready to go somewhere. Just not here any longer.

Thank you for your postings.

]]> By: Lindsay http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-16262 Lindsay Tue, 06 Jul 2010 20:33:59 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-16262 Korey- I understand completly how you feel. I spent time worrin about myself, I was never "happy" so I took care of "boyfriends, and family" they just took advantage of me. i was their for them to vent, as financially helpful for them as I could have been, but when I needed the shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen to me, or just a hug no one was their. When I'm sick no one is their to help me, to take care of me, just to push me out of bed, or off the couch to cook, clean, or do something for them. I have no urge to comit suicide, just to be left alone. I go to work, and do what I have to. It's all of these empty promises. I just want to finish my final semester in college, at 29, so I can be financialy stable, adn loose one load, then the family load. I used to Love being around people, and helping, but I have been burned to many times to even care any more. Korey-
I understand completly how you feel. I spent time worrin about myself, I was never “happy” so I took care of “boyfriends, and family” they just took advantage of me. i was their for them to vent, as financially helpful for them as I could have been, but when I needed the shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen to me, or just a hug no one was their. When I’m sick no one is their to help me, to take care of me, just to push me out of bed, or off the couch to cook, clean, or do something for them. I have no urge to comit suicide, just to be left alone. I go to work, and do what I have to. It’s all of these empty promises. I just want to finish my final semester in college, at 29, so I can be financialy stable, adn loose one load, then the family load. I used to Love being around people, and helping, but I have been burned to many times to even care any more.

]]> By: Korey http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-14073 Korey Thu, 22 Apr 2010 03:32:46 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-14073 Im not sure how to start this in fact ive erased my beginning 3 times now so im just going to type it. Ive given up, yeah I may not have the worst life but well its not about who does. I gave up a long time ago and i walk through my life like a zombie now. I'm not always depressed, like when my friends are around I can talk to them and mess around but its all just for show. You see i have never believed in an afterlife so there is nothing for me there and I know its just a matter of time before i'm gone. Hell the only reason I even get up in the morning anymore is becuse i dont want to let anyone down. I've always been the shoulder to cry on or someone who will listen to them and give advice. I've always been the guardian but after all the arguments and hits i've taken and all the horrible people ive seen. I just cant keep up my determination to go on but I cant drive my self to just stop. So ive trudged on nothing more than a empty suit of shiny armor.Im always thinking if you protect them who will protect you and my only answer is I guess i'll have to be strong enough to take what im going to be hit with. I just wish for once that i wasn't needed anymore I'm tired and beaten. I just wish that someone else would take up my shield and protect them for me so i could rest. I just wish someone could do for me what i do for others but they cant becuse no one knows That I need it and Im not strong enough to show the cracks in my armor. If you dont read or reply to my post thats fine I'm writing this more because I need to get it all out. Thanks for this site. Im not sure how to start this in fact ive erased my beginning 3 times now so im just going to type it. Ive given up, yeah I may not have the worst life but well its not about who does. I gave up a long time ago and i walk through my life like a zombie now. I’m not always depressed, like when my friends are around I can talk to them and mess around but its all just for show. You see i have never believed in an afterlife so there is nothing for me there and I know its just a matter of time before i’m gone. Hell the only reason I even get up in the morning anymore is becuse i dont want to let anyone down. I’ve always been the shoulder to cry on or someone who will listen to them and give advice. I’ve always been the guardian but after all the arguments and hits i’ve taken and all the horrible people ive seen. I just cant keep up my determination to go on but I cant drive my self to just stop. So ive trudged on nothing more than a empty suit of shiny armor.Im always thinking if you protect them who will protect you and my only answer is I guess i’ll have to be strong enough to take what im going to be hit with. I just wish for once that i wasn’t needed anymore I’m tired and beaten. I just wish that someone else would take up my shield and protect them for me so i could rest. I just wish someone could do for me what i do for others but they cant becuse no one knows That I need it and Im not strong enough to show the cracks in my armor. If you dont read or reply to my post thats fine I’m writing this more because I need to get it all out. Thanks for this site.

]]> By: cynder http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-14036 cynder Tue, 20 Apr 2010 19:40:53 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-14036 yo, you can still give up on life without being suicidal. Trust me, I know. I have a daughter. I have everything to live for. But I live on feeling like I live for nothing. yo, you can still give up on life without being suicidal.
Trust me, I know. I have a daughter. I have everything to live for. But I live on feeling like I live for nothing.

]]> By: caleb http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-12237 caleb Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:34:43 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-12237 well. tbh this is for some of the teen's outthere. i'm 16 year's old. ive had MANY bumps in my life. even a few hills to climb over. idk what ur going trough. but ive been ina pit or ina hole serveral times. layed around depressed. didn't wanna go to school. i guess my reason was i didn't really have a reason to live anymore because i didn't want one. i just gave up. and came close to suicide. i have serveral pictures of my arms being scard, or blood on them from cutting trying to deal with the pain. after awhile. you really only have 2 options. 1 give up on life. and end it. i don't reccomend that one, or two. find a way out of the hole. like i did. if you can find a reason in your life to live. i promise its all worth it. yea. you going to have more holes, more bumps, and hills to cross. but in the end. its all worth it. well. tbh this is for some of the teen’s outthere. i’m 16 year’s old. ive had MANY bumps in my life. even a few hills to climb over. idk what ur going trough. but ive been ina pit or ina hole serveral times. layed around depressed. didn’t wanna go to school. i guess my reason was i didn’t really have a reason to live anymore because i didn’t want one. i just gave up. and came close to suicide. i have serveral pictures of my arms being scard, or blood on them from cutting trying to deal with the pain. after awhile. you really only have 2 options. 1 give up on life. and end it. i don’t reccomend that one, or two. find a way out of the hole. like i did. if you can find a reason in your life to live. i promise its all worth it. yea. you going to have more holes, more bumps, and hills to cross. but in the end. its all worth it.

]]> By: Tom http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-11658 Tom Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:30:00 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-11658 Tom, It is horrible what you have endured. It makes life look so much better for all the other post. Read my site It may give you some enlightenment it the midst of the storm. http://sites.google.com/site/howtofindgodnow/ Tom, It is horrible what you have endured. It makes life look so much better for all the other post. Read my site It may give you some enlightenment it the midst of the storm.
http://sites.google.com/site/howtofindgodnow/

]]> By: Ross http://www.willitchangeyou.com/give-up-on-life/comment-page-1/#comment-9411 Ross Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:30:42 +0000 http://www.willitchangeyou.com/?p=2355#comment-9411 Antony & Tom - Thanks for posting, I've replied (sort of) in this post: <a href="http://www.willitchangeyou.com/honest-responses-to-giving-up/" rel="nofollow">Honest Responses to Giving Up On Life</a> Antony & Tom – Thanks for posting, I’ve replied (sort of) in this post: Honest Responses to Giving Up On Life

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