Have you hit rock bottom?
Are things not going well for you right at this moment in life?
I’m not here to patronise you by telling you that everything is ok, and life is always easy. I would like to tell you that life really does surprise you sometimes, and things often have a way of working out in the long run if you only give it a chance. Get through today and I promise you that tomorrow will bring new opportunities, a fresh mind, a new way of looking at things.
Don’t try to do things in your own strength – sometimes you need to man (or woman) up and ask for help. Don’t try and get through tough times all on your own strength. Let someone else know how you’re feeling – friends, professionals, family – let someone know you’re doing things tough & you will be amazed at the ways that things can work out.
When is it time to give up?
A search string that recently referred someone to this site was the phrase when it’s time to give up on life.
It struck a bit of a chord with me and got me thinking about the question it poses: what do we do if we hit a point so low we are found typing about giving up into a search engine? Maybe some people are not literally at a point of giving up but it’s more a cry of desperation or frustration, a kind of ‘what do I do now!’ situation. So many others however really are feeling like there is no point to life.
Even though I have so much to be thankful for in my own life, it’s certainly not always been completely trouble or pain free – the fact is, we all go through our share of ups and downs in life.
When is it time to give up on life? Is there ever a time?
What can someone do when they feel that the problems they face are so, so overwhelming that life just isn’t worth living?
I wrote a post from personal experience a while back titled the tragedy of amazing success. Basically it’s a quick example of how (contrary to popular belief) ‘having it all’ won’t make you invulnerable to feeling like it’s time to give up on life, and even acting on those feelings.
So when is it time to give up on life?
If you really are feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom, can I suggest you check out what to do if feeling suicidal for Australians, or suicide information for the Americas. Also have a look at resources for depression and other treatable illnesses at family doctor.
My personal feelings? The answer to the question is Never. Absolutely never.
Don’t ever give up on life. Life is a precious gift, and there is so much more to life than your current circumstance. I don’t want to pretend to understand what other people are going through, but sometimes with time our situations change, if only we have faith and never give up.
“Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don’t succeed, try another way. For every obstacle there is a solution. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. The greatest mistake is giving up.”
~anon
I have been in and through situations where it feels like being in a bottom of a deep hole where no one knows you’re there and it feels like there is no way out. On way or another, I was able to find my way out of this hole. I used therapy, support, time. Whatever you are going though feels 10x worse when you are alone so having support is huge.
Carla´s last blog ..Financial Prosperity = Planet in destitute?
I have experienced a few bottomless pits myself.Support is fantastic but I think it is up to the individual to come to terms with the bad experience and this could take a while.
Talking about it with someone not so close to you, I have found is best and it doesn’t have to be a doctor, always.
@Carla – Hi, thanks for sharing.. Support is such an important part of getting through dark times.
@Bunnygotblog – Good point, maybe some people feel easier about talking to a third party or stranger than speaking with relatives etc.
Hi Taeran, thanks for this post. I hope it will give more people the opportunity to think about the value of life. I hope more people would share their stories like Carla and bunnygotblog did. I am therapsit myself and I often work with depression and see how support can make a difference.
I enjoy your style. Gilead, London
Gilead´s last blog ..Unknown outcomes
@Gilead – Hi there, thanks for visiting. It’s great to hear words of support, I’m assuming as a therapist you know what you’re talking about
I feel like everyone in the world has their own story to tell. We’ve all hit our lows and highs. It’s hard for me to really understand and feel your story and it works both ways. I believe there’s always a reason to give up on life, but there’s never a time you should consider it.
Life always changes if you want it to. Look at how we viewed life as children and how we see life today. It’s like a completely different world; not because the world changed so much. It’s more of our view of the world changing. Our priorities, values, and perspectives. Most of us in this world are living in a bubble, day in and day out. Work, Eat, Sleep, and Relax. When we were kids, we were curious and we experienced and encounter different scenarios that were unique.
We can start to change “our” lives by simply starting to shape the way we perceive it. Start introducing small changes and keep working at it. You will eventually break free from the bubble and truly understand what life is all about!
Great post! I still find it interesting the terms people search for on search engines. I’ve had my fair share of weird search engine traffic! Keep up the good writing! (=
taney´s last blog ..Guiding Through Change
@Taney – Hi there, thanks for taking the time out to visit & comment.
I totally agree with you that there’s always another option, sometimes we are blinded by our current situations. A good tip as you mention is to do it slowly, with small changes at a time.
Thanks for visiting!
just give up, give in, let go. who cares?
Apparently YOU don’t, blah… Care to elaborate?
Every person I’ve ever been in a relationship with has given up on life. Its very frustrating.I know that I have severe depression, but haven’t ever given up, I always try and find a reason to motivate myself. I hope to one day find happiness somehow, and I choose not to give up, or give in to addiction.
Hi Beram04, thanks for sharing.
I can’t imagine how frustrating it must feel to be in your situation. I’m pleased to hear that despite all you’ve been through you’re still hanging in there.
maybe consider giving this a go.
All the best
I am just lost myself, and it’s easier to talk to a third person sometimes than someone close to you… often the people closest provide numerous lectures instead of just listening and being there.
As I write this tears are flowing, and I am once again disappointed that my trust has been betrayed, and people can love and cheat so easily… and lie, how smoothly they lied. I know life will get better, I am strong enough but right now everything hurts, the words he said hurt… disappointing after 9 months he understood me so little and shed his own guilt on me.
Hi Pam, thanks for visiting & taking the time to share.
So sorry to hear that things are not going well for you at the moment. What you’ve shared is another reminder to me, and others, that people will always be… people. Meaning, there are times in our lives where people will let us down & disappoint us, despite best intentions.
I trust that you’ll find strength in the knowledge that you CAN get through this, and that life has so much more to offer.
All the best
I dont know if you will believe. I searched exactly with the words giving up. Life takes its turns. I have a very stressful time.Though I am a doctor, to be on the other side of the table is a totally different feeling.My daughter has been seriously ill,and as you said,it changes your attitudes towards life.Sometimes,all said and done,it is difficult to go forwards.I cant find reasons why such things happen in life.It is such a sad thing that your child is ill,and you sit and watch. Helpless,frustration..what not.I know sometimes things happen for a reason,but other times,I cant find any.
Now I fully understand the anxiety and stress of the family of those who come to me.I could never understand it if I hadnt passed through my present situations.May be,that is the purpose. May be,life wants to teach me something. It probably wants me to be a better physician,who understands the feeling of others.
Antony´s last blog ..Human rights or terrorist rights?
Giving up seems to be by words for me and I have always rebounded,but the end is near and closing fast. I got diagonosed with a cancerous tumor 12 years ago, did the chemo and radiation, and then the life changing therapy. So I survived my fit of depression then but still wear the bag to remind me. Then came a dying liver that I have been dealing with, done all the right things to stay on the transplant list. (Ha) sitting here with the letter of removing me from the list sitting next to the keyboard. Why, not because I gave up, but rather now I have been diagnosed with cancer of the liver. So I spent my time again expanding my understanding of all the paticulars of the disease. What I got for all this is the biopsy which I am waiting to be scheduled for, three simple words. I give up. Tom
Antony & Tom – Thanks for posting, I’ve replied (sort of) in this post: Honest Responses to Giving Up On Life
Tom, It is horrible what you have endured. It makes life look so much better for all the other post. Read my site It may give you some enlightenment it the midst of the storm.
http://sites.google.com/site/howtofindgodnow/
well. tbh this is for some of the teen’s outthere. i’m 16 year’s old. ive had MANY bumps in my life. even a few hills to climb over. idk what ur going trough. but ive been ina pit or ina hole serveral times. layed around depressed. didn’t wanna go to school. i guess my reason was i didn’t really have a reason to live anymore because i didn’t want one. i just gave up. and came close to suicide. i have serveral pictures of my arms being scard, or blood on them from cutting trying to deal with the pain. after awhile. you really only have 2 options. 1 give up on life. and end it. i don’t reccomend that one, or two. find a way out of the hole. like i did. if you can find a reason in your life to live. i promise its all worth it. yea. you going to have more holes, more bumps, and hills to cross. but in the end. its all worth it.
yo, you can still give up on life without being suicidal.
Trust me, I know. I have a daughter. I have everything to live for. But I live on feeling like I live for nothing.
Im not sure how to start this in fact ive erased my beginning 3 times now so im just going to type it. Ive given up, yeah I may not have the worst life but well its not about who does. I gave up a long time ago and i walk through my life like a zombie now. I’m not always depressed, like when my friends are around I can talk to them and mess around but its all just for show. You see i have never believed in an afterlife so there is nothing for me there and I know its just a matter of time before i’m gone. Hell the only reason I even get up in the morning anymore is becuse i dont want to let anyone down. I’ve always been the shoulder to cry on or someone who will listen to them and give advice. I’ve always been the guardian but after all the arguments and hits i’ve taken and all the horrible people ive seen. I just cant keep up my determination to go on but I cant drive my self to just stop. So ive trudged on nothing more than a empty suit of shiny armor.Im always thinking if you protect them who will protect you and my only answer is I guess i’ll have to be strong enough to take what im going to be hit with. I just wish for once that i wasn’t needed anymore I’m tired and beaten. I just wish that someone else would take up my shield and protect them for me so i could rest. I just wish someone could do for me what i do for others but they cant becuse no one knows That I need it and Im not strong enough to show the cracks in my armor. If you dont read or reply to my post thats fine I’m writing this more because I need to get it all out. Thanks for this site.
Korey-
I understand completly how you feel. I spent time worrin about myself, I was never “happy” so I took care of “boyfriends, and family” they just took advantage of me. i was their for them to vent, as financially helpful for them as I could have been, but when I needed the shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen to me, or just a hug no one was their. When I’m sick no one is their to help me, to take care of me, just to push me out of bed, or off the couch to cook, clean, or do something for them. I have no urge to comit suicide, just to be left alone. I go to work, and do what I have to. It’s all of these empty promises. I just want to finish my final semester in college, at 29, so I can be financialy stable, adn loose one load, then the family load. I used to Love being around people, and helping, but I have been burned to many times to even care any more.
Korey and Lindsay.
You both remind me so much of how I actually feel all the time. I am tired and ready to go somewhere. Just not here any longer.
Thank you for your postings.
Ok obviousley despret to even concider finding hope to the darkest place I feel Ive ever been just by asking google what to do when you give up on life! Really what I meant was ‘what to do0 when life and fate through you chances and you make mistakes nout of fear and vulerability and instead of embraceing li8fe you find yourself missing an oppoutunity and lying on the floor riddled with regret and conumed with self blame knowing you had the world at your fingertips. Completly affraid that you will always regret this time in your life woundering what if.
At 21 Iost my first love it was a car crash it was ugly I had nothing an know one but I knew myself better than I could have ever imagined and powered thrugh with a strength which changed ky who life. I build every inch of my world solid. Derailed, therapy, self help & development booked, networked went out constantly brough friends together, went on holidays, plughed into work built myself a carear briugh my own new build appartment at 23 found an amazing carear the dream job and I
still completly love. Found my family and adore them. I tried every new thing I wanted explored every inch of my soul until I felt whole all by myself. I trusted myself I thought I knew myself inside out. My sister and frinds looked up to me I was the sensible girl with her bhead screwed on!! The person people came to for advise. I met a guy at 23 who I liked a lot I dated many guys at 21 but never persued anything at 23 I had a fun summer I was honest with him up front I couldnt get seriouse he wanted to get married – but he wasnt my first love it wasnt love I let him go he married. I always felt loveless was open but always disapointed. I was the girl who always liked to tease but wuld never take the plunge because no one was anything like my first. For 2 years I didnt date or anything it felt good I felt powerful I was in control of my happyness. At 25 I had the best year of my life I did things for me and for the first year since 21 I felt free, settled in my home, my alone time was a gift I felt no need to go out I loved the simplemthings being with my friends and family what ever they had I was happy for tyhem but Inever once felt alone or unhappy or like somthing was missing. Sure I thought of love I thught one day I dont make then rules weell just see. I met a guy end of oct stayed till end of jan this year I played the game as you do I didnt tell anyone – let himmchase test call, even if I ws freaking out inside I never told him I showed only the best of me. After 3 months I said I needed mo0re contact I needed to know I was building on somthing I needed assurence this wasnt just a booty call he couldnt give me any assurences simple as a regular phone call so I left I felt fine I was happy with how I handles it I thught tyo myself I am ready for this. So Feb2010 with Mars in Leo till June, a massie Zodiac T- Zone in then best place I had ever been i9n my life at 25 with freinds, family, self knowledge, own home carear car and love I signed to match.com with the idea to ‘MAKE LOVE HAPPEN’. I truley believe when you are in the best place life brings great things to you and it did. I had 6 dates each guy I mailed messged me back it felt so easy I was like I should have tried this ages ago! I met a romanic soulful guy and clicked in conversation from the start he scared me because he said and did all of the right things but instead of taking things slow I pushed too hard I was so affraid of being hurt of taking that risk I was like I want it all or nothing. I was justbtoo honest – Id decided in my head to see him alone by our 4th date and to cancel another date with a guy id been speking to for a few weeks I just didnt need to tell hm mthat it changed everything he thught we were just seeing eachother and thats all I ever wanted as well I dont know what I was thinking!! Its somthing Id have never hae done in the real world match brought out a side to me I dont like I was like I can pick and choose I want somthing nreal so before I let an option slide I have to know if your for real… It doesnt sound so bad but for a guy whoes pulling out all of the stops I didnt realise it would make me seem arrogant, make him feel insecuere, li9ke oh now Im not sure would I choose her over others, he already told me he could be jelouse hed given me all then assurences I culd need I just had to push the extra button!! We still carried on for 2 months after that but t was never the same I hadnt got the response I was looking for so I freaked I became insecure vulnerable needy reading into every missed call or text. I notice on reflection a few occasions when he wanted assurence from me I was only seeing him nand I dint give it I was blind to it. I Yelled at him like why dont you ever respond to my calls and texts when it had never bothared me before. I was off that pedastal the tabels had turned and in the process
I fell in love pulled myself apart al rational went out of the window and that sensible independant lady I had woeked so hard to find the sweet girl he first met comppetly vanished…. I asked so many people they were all like hes insescure youve done nothing wrong blar blar blar I was so out of tune with myself I listened to them Id feel ok and then feel awaful and I should have known that if I felt the need to ask so many people that In needed to talk to him!! Instead we broke it off because he was like you want to get seriouse I like you but like I said I was engaged for 3 years it ended last year its taken a year to get to here thisis heavy and I cant give you the assurences you need. Deversated isnt the word I dragged that out of him then left him at the station. He sent a pleading text saying cal me back when you get home… I didnt… he still tested and called I didnt respond. Then I spiralled into crazy tests and emails mad at him trying to work out why what happened into a complete mess until it hit me… you did this it was flow9ng it5 was picture perefect he was right there saying and doing all of the right things Id waited 4years for a guy to do that I though I could never love again and I didnt realise why id gotten myself so worked up and then it hit me this is the same as at 21 this is heartbreak shit!!! And worser still this is regret!!! Regaret that I stumpt the growth when things were flowing, regret I even spoke to then other guy when I new this guy wasnt, Regret I hurt thenother vguy breaking it off after 4 weeks he was hurt at me, Regret that I never just explained myself like its nothing just a few dates nothing more, Regret that after agreeing to carry on I didnt just continue to be myself and show he the lady all of my friedns knew the nlady he first me, How a simple explenation and assurence conversation can feel so easy now and yet in the situation I couldnt see it, Regret for not testing the waters some more holdijg back as I always had done and for allowing myself to fall ridicukously in Love when the pain was not at all worth the sacrific for a 3 month thing at all !!! Regert for not calling him back that night for the calls the texts the emails I never thought I could do that to mmyself I didnt realise what I was doing or what I was giving away. Without them I may have just salvaged somthing!!! I gave away my pride my dignity my strength nand eveything Id stood for for the past 4years!!! No guy or girl would respect me tyhen way I acted!!! I alienated my friends my family, felt ashamed to be in my home I was like the girl who has this amazing life appartment and carear does not do this so I camped out at family homes for 3 weeks rejected my appartment. Lost a stone and ahalf in June, slept a lot, suffered panic attacks with regret like how could you do this to yoirself, fled my job for a week to turkey last minuet which I have never done ever I love my job toom much but I just could not stop crying. Whilst there I laid on a bed wishing to pass in sleep because at 21 I could say I was nieve I could say I didnt know any better but at 25 I was supposed to have it all together. I couldnt believe Id dared to ask for more when I had so much already and was in the best place I had ever been really enjoying life and loving myself. I couldnt beliebe where Id stared in February and where I had fallen to in june laying in the dark cursing myself telling myself I was a bad person had slapped fate in the face and set myself back years! I headed for thearpy when I got home somthingelse I hadnt done since 21. I saw the guy Id cancel the date with new it was wrong told him the ntruth to experiment and see if someone realy wants you will they want you anyway, he does but I notice that same resentment and being knocked from the pedastal. Im like you cant learn first time round you have to do again. I tried to date again ended up have rebund on a first date which seemed a real good idea tyhen I was like what are you doing other than carrying on then cycle of sabotage Id proded myself on never being that kind of girl!!! Im back at work now its the only place my life feels real but inside I feel complettly broken and shattared like nothing matters anymore and I hate it I hate it all it doesnt belong in my life I just want to cut it out. It took 4 years to feel whole and I pulled it apart in just a few short months and that beatutiful young girl with eveything I let her down I completly diminished her and Im still letting her down everyday that I continue this but I cant stop eveyday I crash at some point and I hate that I have given her this emotiona hurdle to comprehend because I know all to well you cant just flick a switch and you can feel empty for a long time. At 21 it was obviuse what to do – I had a whole world to change and grow. At 25 Ive done all of those things and its like this is too nhard I dont want to get up I dont want to do this nagain Ive done it all already there is no compensation for this… I have never fallen down so hard and not been able to get back up again and I just want to cry when I think of what Ive done to myself……. I cannot help myself Im spiralling and Im loosing and yet I have so much… Ive never been so surrounded with blessings and people and felt soempty and that just makes me feel even mire opf a worce person….
As someone who did come to this site after typing “give up one life” into a search engine, I found this post to be completely unsatisfactory and useless. This piece of shit is going to make people kill themselves. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
The point is I am not at all proud of myself or my actions this year. I did type in ‘give up on life’ just like you did. I was reaching out and hoping for a hand out of the dark an answer to my riddle and I have been checking. Yours is the first comment and it hit me kind of hard…. I would never wish the way I am feeling on anyone. Someone said to me when things happen you cant prcess or explain they make sense latter on in life and I was like well thats fantastic I just have to wait a few years for pain to basically dissolve like it did last time but one thing I know for certain is that you only ever have yourself thats what I learnt before and it was the most valuable thing of all. I lost myself this time and Ive no idea why and yes I am still very sad and I hate wasting time here when life is meant to be so preciouse so I know I have to get up again. Getting up and going to work everyday is the first step, the second step has been calling my family everyday my nan my dad my mum my god mum and asking them how they are not speaking of this at all! Eating and sleeping watching normal TV crying for release. Trying to take basic care of myself again dressing, doing my hair trying to rebuild slowly. Ive learnt setteling in love just because someone is there will not make you happy. I know only I can do that and I would never want to meet someone broken. I believe in love, I believe in fate I believe there are amazing people in the world. I believe this pain wont last forever I have survived pain before. I keep trying to hold on to that… everyone has their own story everyone has their share of mistakes and regrets and Ive just found mine. The only one whoes really going to help me is me…. x
I am feeling this way myself, I have my moments of extreme highs and devastated lows, I believe mind in contributed to my depression or some psychological defect. But I just sometimes dream of sweet death a end all or at least a transition from this life to another. I fear the unknown and I am not sure what to expect if I kill myself, Although I am looking for humane ways to end my life, I would like the way of Dr. K through carbon minoxide, I just don’t want to bother with sleeping pills, but I guess part of me knows that if I can find something to look forward too, I may not be so quick to end a life that never really started.
Today is my birthday. I’m 44. I spent the first half of the day in bed crying because I just can’t do it any more and then worrying about who will take care of my dog. Then for the last few hours I’ve been gathering up all of the stuff in my apartment and throwing it away. What I remember most about when my parents died was how much stuff they had and how hard it was to go through all of it. I won’t leave that task to anyone.
It’s easy to SAY “keep going, don’t give up.” It’s quite different to do those things and I just can’t any more. I’m not suicidal but I sure as sh!t have given up.
Happy birthday to me, indeed.
Happy Birthday B. I’m thinking of you today. Hope you find a reason to smile, don’t give up.
You know what I just read back what I posted at the start…. so simple the string of mistakes so obviouse how to have put them right at the time & such a self inflicted down sprial. Ive been asking myself how happy I honestly was to begin with because surly if I was so solid if I was really so happy with my life as it was I wouldnt have broken this way right? But then some people just enter your life for a ‘reason’ and make you realise what it is you have been missing or craving.
I read the latter post Aug 18th and realised today is September 18th – almost a month on and I cant say too much has changed I am a mirror of that post… accept the guy I let go because I said I could not settle I emailed most days down spiralling he didnt run he was like come back Im here… Ive no idea why. I wish i was that simple to just fall into him but it just doesnt feel right. It doesnt flow, I dont feel good about myself around him because his life is so in control and scheduiled and organised and hes solid within it and I just feel despret nedy unhinged. If I leave he and his life are still whole if I leave im still broken. I never want a guy to be the reason I am whole! So funny how time just takes time and steps forward often lead to steps back. You can feel like your making progress then lead to no where but the beginning wounderin how to find compensation how to grow when your not in a position to make any drastic changes ‘money restrainst’. If this had been me at 21 again I’d have been out shopping, horse riding, joining a gym, meeting new people, pole dancing etc etc but thats the thing as an adult you basically are supposed to keep straight and suck it up!
Friends and family tire or just dont understand. You feel completly consumed and selfish like there is nothing outside of what you are feeling and it is completly irrational.
I loved my independance and being an adult buying my home being a manger in my job and makiing my own choices but when I made mistakes its like my child ran to the forfront and my adult disappeared with all of my rational thinking. For the first time in my life I do not feel in control and have no idea how to really get it every day is a roller coaster struggle and I force myself through the motions woundering whats next what will become fo me.. scared of change, scared of loosing what I do have… my whole perspective on what I do have, on myself and on life being a happy place where you can be rewarded has changed. How do I get that back!? How do I grow from this and start again? Others would look at me and say she has a dream job, great appartment, friends, family, car, phone, cds, cloths, a running machine what more could she ask for…. the answer is myself I want my old self back. The one who is organised can take pressure at work, who has self esteam as well as confidence, who is positive and wakes everyday with a thirst for what simple pleasures the day shall being. Who sleeps normally, eats normally, cried normally, sees oppoutunity and chances to learn and grow. Who isnt a manic depressive who is there for friends and family and believe she is worth the greatest love of all…. a true love for herself!!! Is that all really so hard????!!!! I WANT THAT BEAUTIFUL LADY BACK PLEASE X
Fairy Tale: I cannot believe you are going through the same thing that I am going through. I want to get back who I am too and people around me do not understand me. Just like you, they see everything from the outside – what I have around me and they could not understand why I am so unhappy. They all think I am just being a spoiled brat that has everything but still is not satisfied. But that is not true, I am proud of what I have achieved through my hard work. I used to believe in the greater good, of staying positive, of things happen for a reason and that setbacks are just temporary as they are a route to a better and grander picture. Everyone around me thinks that since I have achieved so much that I am merely bored with my life and that boredom makes me want to create problems that does not exist to while away my boredom. Reading your story, I think the root cause is losing the person that we loved the most. The person who had out heart. I lost the person that I love the most 3 years ago. He gave up on me because I kept pushing. I was so scared of losing him then I ended up losing him. I was trying too hard that I wind myself too tight that I become this ugly person that drove him away. I regret that moment when I got so stressed out trying to make everything right and perfect between us. when I look back, I could not imagine that I was that person. I explained to him that I got all uptight because I want him to find everything great in our relationship that I pulled all the stops and in the process stretched myself too thin. But all he saw was the “ugly” uptight person that I have become. He could not believe that I was that person, he told me. I could not believe it either. But everything now is too late. I could never get him back. Plus I am afraid that I might not be able to handle my feelings for him like before and just end up hurting him. so I have to let go and let him have a better life. It sucks to have to be the bigger person when all I want is to just run back to him and tell him how sorry I am. It’s really hard to lose someone you love. It feels like nothing else matters in this world. Like the world could fade away and you dont care.
NYBagels my goodness was so pleaseed to see your reply brought me to tears! Thank you so much honestly! I hate being this person it really isnt the person I was I look back to February and wounder where that confident, indepent lady with all that self awarness and self esteam went! Honestly I hardly recognise myself anymore and I swear to god if I could just flip a switch I would! I feel I could have a breakdown everydays a struggle convincing myself that Im okay that I am safe Im not going to loose everything I have but I have lost complete faith in myself and Ive no idea how I let this happen but now its here its a cycle I cant stop and everyday fear catches me. I dont recall what it feels like to just feel normal and contented anymore. I wake up scared I live throughout the day scared and sleep scared woundering what will become of me I am a nervouse wreck. Scared to move scared to change anything I no longer trust I wont fall off of the edge. I really do feel like I oblitterated myself and have gone crazy. The most important person I lost in all of this was myself no guy just myself… ok a guy as well but I was always more important and since all this well I’m just not. Im clinging on to this other guy because hes strong no matter how much I freak out but I know I am leading him on I know he is not right for me. We live totally different life stysles but when I am with him I feel like a child and I can escape and hold him and not be so affraod but when I leave him Im just the ssme. If I had a shred of chance of going back to the guy I lost and the me I lost with him I would go there no matter the risk I would risk eberything now. i HAD THAT CHANCE THEN i DONT NOW SO NO MATTER HOW PAINFUL i WOULD SAY TO YOU IF YOU HAVE A SHOT TRY GO BACK IF ANYTHING JUST SO YOU KNOW YOU DIDNT PASS UP THE CHANCE BECAUSE THAT IS JUST ANOTHER REGRET TO ADD TO HE MIX. I regaret not going back when I had the chance I was so freaked I missed it I never even knew thats what it was…… Take Care… god I wish I knew you. Take care x
NYBagels okay so its been just two weeks since my last post and honestly – I do not know what happened but someowhere inside a shift has begun to take place. Ive accepted what happened I no longer think of the faults, what I did or replay the cinema screen tale – I believe that is my internal defense saying there is no point in that only further tourcher to be gained from that behaviour. I have made it sucessfully to sleep, to work, got through the days substantially motivated going through the daily routine and motions, driving okay listening to music in my cars, that makes me happy. Perhaps its the change in seasons to but somthing is definetly happening for the greater good. I only hope my pleas have been answered. Last time I felt so low I pleaed please god someone help me… perhaps they did… help me. I feel a growing urge inside to make change happen to leave somthing behind take a stand alone if only to recapture and redefine myself. To have an experimental chance rather than settle just to cling on to somthing when it isnt going to redefine me or make me whole… I gues I have to do that alone. I imagine joining a gym, dancing again, finding new friends perhaps in simular boats, taking classes getting out there, spending as much time with friends and family as I can for a while. Then looking again with a new me?? xx
I am trying to figure out what people mean when they say ” do what is right for you.” I don’t know what that is anymore. I have had a very painful 5+ years now, never knowing if I have a home, I repel most people because I don’t even talk sane anymore (just needy, too open, and I cannot smile are just some examples.
I am expected to be strong because I used to be. I have become a puddle. The more I try to do something to help myself, another round is fired at me leaving me with all of these holes. I talked to the dr. and he gave me meds that are supposed to help me calm down, sleep, and focus but all they do is make me dizzy because I still cannot get used to or accept how hurt I am and how much time has gone by when I gave it all my might to do what is right. Everything (seriously) just gets worse every single day. I had someone tell me recently that most people would have slit their wrists by now with what life has dished out. That made me feel great! I guess he thought I was strong because I didn’t end it all yet. Woo hoo! I am alone, my fiance is back to his alcohol and he left. I had 6 miscarriages in less than 2 years that ruined my insides so I can never have another chance to have a child. For the first time in 2 years I am glad I don’t have anyone to take care of because I cannot function anymore. I was a professional, got through college and graduated with high honors, I had hobbies and too many interests to even have the time for. Since my car accident, my brain is injured. I tried to tell the dr’s they were wrong but it’s too obvious to ignore now. I lost all of my friends because I changed and they said that they I am gone. Good friends eh?
The silence is loud and music and movies are annoying ( over stimulating) I used to like things that I no longer like. It’s a huge catch 22. I want to be in the hospital sometimes so I can get an IV and always have a counselor available 24/7. But, my doctors just think I am being too serious if that makes any sense. I had a therapist for 3 1/2 yrs and I am still a mess. I feel like I dug my own grave by making decisions that I thought were the right thing but apparently they were wrong ones. The hell hole I am in just gets deeper and I feel like giving up – meaning just not to anything anymore and just let life push me around. At least I won’t hate myself for doing wrong things anymore. That makes no sense because doing nothing is even an action.
I don’t know where I am going with this. I actually searched for “when life gives up on you.” instead of when to give up on life.
I am not a very religious person. I used to be. I pray though. Why not?
That can’t hurt or can it when it feels like prayers are not being heard or that there is no God there anyway?
So it’s almost 2am on a Sat night. I have a dog that I can barely even keep up with anymore. My phone never rings, I get spam for emails and bills I cannot pay in the mail.
I don’t turn to family. I learned not to do that. They are good people but they get worried and feel pressure that I don’t want them to feel.
Well, I feel like I am talking to myself even though someone may read this one day. It’s just void. Believe me I try to do something little each day to enjoy life or make my situation better but it’s pointless. I cannot enjoy anything I used to enjoy and my stack of problems are too high to even start trying to chip away at. Money is needed. Support is needed. Giving a crap is needed. Good health is needed. It’s a downward spiral and the pile of crap gets higher. I am drained of my life force. What comes next? I am not going to hurt myself because knowing me I would fail at that (just kidding). Nothing I do works. I cleaned my home and did my laundry and I wonder why I bother because it’s just using water and electricity on a waste.
If that is not the most pathetic and pessimistic thing I ever said in this comment, I would highly doubt anyone could top it and I hope that no ones feels as knocked down and drained as I am.
How does ONE not desire to give up, especially when that ONE finds themself in a place where the past is done and no more….cant change it!! The future ONE has been stiving for always seems to move further and further away and the present….well the present just sucks!! One day ONE wakes up and finds themselves in a place where they really have no vital skill and everything that ONE has done, has actually, been detrimental b/c the present is evident of the past….Life holds no joy, faith no longer exists and existing alone has become a chore.
Okay since late 2007, I lived my x-husband while he was bringing his woman over to the house while I was working (no he didn’t work). In 2009 while he was still basically living off me while dating her my mother died. She had cancer and I never told her what was going on. She was my last support network. Now I have no one. I work from 6am to 7pm (because of a long commute). Finally at least I am divorced and my X-husband is out of my house. I have two small children that I have to care for, and I have nothing to look forward to except work and work and more work followed by the responsibility of caring for my children on my own. I have not done anything fun in ages and have nothing to look forward to. I am certainly not going to kill myself; however, I have given up on ever achieving any happiness in life. It is just one endless miserable day after another.
Hey!
I found this blog by an accident, typing the sentence ” Dont give up.just be u. life is too short to be anyone else”.– a quote from a movie i watched ..
I think this blog was really interesting and i love this subject.. when is it time to give up? when is enough, enough?
big question.. strange life:)
i will keep following this blog. good work!!
xx
Anda Karro´´~~
I think that i’ve been through this a lot and i think everyone has in their life. When you reach a point so low that you think ‘what am i doing here’? ‘how can i get out of this?’ ‘what do i need to do’?
I pondered over this in bouts of depression i must admit until i think i found the answer. The first thing is this. There is nothing you can do to change your life. Your life is your life and everything that happens to you is a result of your own making. That being said everyone no matter how rich, how good looking, how famous will go through this. Its part of our flawed nature as human beings. There is no perfect job, there is no perfect partner, there is no perfect thing or object or anything else in this world which will ever make you 100 per cent satisfied with life. The reason is because we our by our nature flawed.
I found that looking inside myself for answers i got the best i think i could get. i find that bascially when you let go of all your expectations and just live life without judgement,without want, without seeking anything, without even thinking your life is miserable you automatically begin to feel lighter and happier. Its as if the weight of expectation lifts from your shoulders as you realise to an extent all your worries, fears are self imposed. Life is just life and all your worries are self imposed. You are here for a reason and have nothing to fear or be ashamed of. You have been given the gift of life and all you have to do is live life. You don’t have to do anything, achieve anything, be anyone or meet any criteria. All you have to do is LIVE LIFE!
thats the beauty of it.
b
I have acute rapid cycling bi polar! In most other ways I am physically healthy so no one can see my pain. I retreat into complete obscurity when I have depressive episodes, life and soul of the party in mania! Every day I take pills of my own free will that take every ounce of who I am away, my reward, a nothingness too painful to describe in words. But it means I don’t get in trouble and I also need my husband to care for me 24/7. I am 41 years old and the dibilitating effect of my disorder means that a lot of the time I genuinely feel like giving up. There is no stability in my world – only a dulled presence, a shell of the person I once was. All I have to do to get her back is stop the meds, which I sometimes do for relief when the nothingness gets too much, but things always go too far and I end up going too high and paying the price by almost losing my mind! I know when my mind is outta sync, at present I am in mixed mood – the worst and most dangerous mood for any manic depressive! I should have had treatment years ago, if I’d had a physical injury I’d have gone to a doctor! But I couldn’t look after my own mind and no one ever encouraged me to. I write this to encourage anyone with depression to get help as soon as they realise they have a problem. Please don’t end up like me. I live in poverty now, I have lost everything, the one thing I have managed to hold onto is my wee family! I’m not getting better, I’m getting worse! I used to work in responsible jobs, earn good money and now I cannot even afford a single present for christmas for my kids. I am a failure, in my mind, I am a total failure and a loser, a noose around others necks and the reason none of my family have anything! For what, so I can live a miserable life. Thats why I feel like giving up! Thanks for listening x
i had a chance to be a millionare and be famouse instead i gave it up to be a slob im having fights with all my family,some i havent spoke to in years. (10 YEARS). and i have recently just lost the only family member i speak to my grandad
Wow, I completely think all of you whine entirely too much… But that being said, I entirely emphathize with everyones pain. It won’t get better, in all likeliness life isn’t through with you yet, and has a bus waiting for you to fail to look both ways when you cross the street. You still got to cross the street. I don’t know much, but a punch in the nuts, but what I do know is that the same neglected qualities that brought you to this site, are probably indicitive of why life is passing you by. Grow up, clean your shorts, and most importantly shut up and be happy.
I recommend reading Candide by Voltaire
Y’all think too much, and the Internet doesn’t hold the answer to lifes problems, it’s for surfing porn and nothing else… Yes, were all alone here, get over yourself…
I just hit rock bottom today and just about ready to go suideside here but the thought of death nervise me in so many ways. I’m lost, I read the blog or post what every u call it, it fits me but just dont see it. Like finish the day off an look forward for tomorrow, I been doin that for THREE YEARS. Every thing I do seems to just fall to the ground an shatter and I’m left pick up the peaces to make thing work. Its not easy well I dont think its easy at all but the stress that over comes me is far greater than my will power to fight. I think the only thing thats keeping me going is this quote from the movie ROCKY “It doesnt matter how hard u hit, it matters how hard u can get hit an keep moving forward”.(Pretty close). But I just need a answer before I lose my own life to something horreble.
Been there done that, it does not get better the next day; all most every time the next day is worse. What I want now is a safe, easy, painless way to die. Don’t bother to help me, I do not what your help, just info on how do die.
Given up
very interesting site, I enjoyed reading through. No matter how many answers I am able to discover, it seems there are always more. I find it best to search just a little day by day, look at your life and look at the life of others, there will always be those greater and less to yourself, life is huge, and as tiny as we are, we’re apart of it in a huge way. Screw inspiration, I don’t want it, give it to me now! It’s all about me, ow, and you too, but mostly me, and mostly you. confused yet? Flawless empty cold hearted know-it all’s, I love you, I don’t know what I mean? I love to hate to say that since puberty I’ve struggled with depression (28 now), it takes allot to hold on and let go. It’s our job to show the world our truth, and create somehow the help we need, within ourselves to take, and the help others are waiting to give, it can be a messy process, but hey, making a mess is life, we’ll clean it up as we’re able, or not. I believe all that is said, I also don’t believe it. Life is positivley negative experience, most of us are perfectionists at heart, and it’s broken in reality. not everyone needs to know such knowledge, but I do, it helps me carry on in my confusion. There’s more to life than happiness and perfect justice, I believe it all balances out in a way, but you really have to find it in your own way, you may be able to share it, maybe not. I say try anything you can, no matter how weird or selfish, we all have instincts that will guide us, but for now, purhaps we’ll just have to wait, and wait some more. Just remember that death is natural, it is as good as it seems bad, taking it into our own hands is allot to handle, I know. I’ve been suicidal for what seems like five years, in a weird way I keep considering it, it’s very tiresome and soul bending, I wish I could give up my ideas of giving up, but I guess this is a part of what makes me special, and especially human. I’m just another joe, and I’ll live on until I’m dead, it wont always be what I want, but as I let go of the past, my desires do change. I hate to let go of anything that makes life seem worth wild, but do it anyway, I call it desperation, and I’m ok with that. I f*^%ing hate life from time to time, as I hate it, I learn to love it, over and over and over, until purhaps I’m gray, that will be the day.
I know what it’s like to want to give up. I have tried and tried to be fair, mature and generous. What does it get you…not much. I’m tired of my mistakes and I’m tired of trying and being pushed back to a feeling of sabotage by people around me. I have cut off people in my life and have to tolerate the people who are in it, ie a dumb ass supervisor. But it just gets harder and harder. Not finding love when trying and only getting looked over by those you find attractive. Money problems don’t seem to exit ever. And I’m just tired. Just really tired. I pray and pray, but in the end…I feel that just giving up is the best solution.
Sometimes the fog tunnel seams endless, but there is some light at the end. Never give up, never surrender.
I wish I could sleep, but I can’t lay on my back ’cause there’s a knife for every day that I’ve known you.
If you kill yourself you take a part of everyone’s soul that you were close to in life. Imagine your best friend kills them self, it feels like an irreplaceable peace of you is no longer there.
I’ve given up a long time ago, but I’m still crawling through the shit. There might just be a rainbow at the end of all that shit.
I have given up! nothing left to life and no one left in my life so everything will be ok when i’m gone. i’m just going to curl up like a dying cat and hide until i take my last breath.