Have you hit rock bottom?
Are things not going well for you right at this moment in life?
I’m not here to patronise you by telling you that everything is ok, and life is always easy. I would like to tell you that life really does surprise you sometimes, and things often have a way of working out in the long run if you only give it a chance. Get through today and I promise you that tomorrow will bring new opportunities, a fresh mind, a new way of looking at things.
Don’t try to do things in your own strength – sometimes you need to man (or woman) up and ask for help. Don’t try and get through tough times all on your own strength. Let someone else know how you’re feeling – friends, professionals, family – let someone know you’re doing things tough & you will be amazed at the ways that things can work out.
When is it time to give up?
A search string that recently referred someone to this site was the phrase when it’s time to give up on life.
It struck a bit of a chord with me and got me thinking about the question it poses: what do we do if we hit a point so low we are found typing about giving up into a search engine? Maybe some people are not literally at a point of giving up but it’s more a cry of desperation or frustration, a kind of ‘what do I do now!’ situation. So many others however really are feeling like there is no point to life.
Even though I have so much to be thankful for in my own life, it’s certainly not always been completely trouble or pain free – the fact is, we all go through our share of ups and downs in life.
When is it time to give up on life? Is there ever a time?
What can someone do when they feel that the problems they face are so, so overwhelming that life just isn’t worth living?
I wrote a post from personal experience a while back titled the tragedy of amazing success. Basically it’s a quick example of how (contrary to popular belief) ‘having it all’ won’t make you invulnerable to feeling like it’s time to give up on life, and even acting on those feelings.
So when is it time to give up on life?
If you really are feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom, can I suggest you check out what to do if feeling suicidal for Australians, or suicide information for the Americas. Also have a look at resources for depression and other treatable illnesses at family doctor.
My personal feelings? The answer to the question is Never. Absolutely never.
Don’t ever give up on life. Life is a precious gift, and there is so much more to life than your current circumstance. I don’t want to pretend to understand what other people are going through, but sometimes with time our situations change, if only we have faith and never give up.
“Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don’t succeed, try another way. For every obstacle there is a solution. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. The greatest mistake is giving up.”
~anon
every day might seem hard but do or don’t give up some times i just wont to give up i hate and dispite a girl called naiad she lye to me and gets me in trouble every minuet of my life i just wont to give up on my life but if you gave up you wouldent be stil fighting life
i just wont to give up
Hi I am in my 50″s quite pretty still and not stupid. I suffer because of my emotional abusive husband. Dread to be in his prescence and after 22 yrs of mental cruely even in front of my 20 yr and 10 yr old i have decided i have become numb and unmotivated to enjoy anything even though i have my own money, kids are healthy but inside i feel so lonely and unloved. My children are having their own interests now and feel isolated from them. I raised them the best i could alot of times alone. My husband only takes care of his son. My daughter disowned him (old enough to know what he has done mentally to me). I think if i leave him i know i will be happier even though he may cut me off financially but the worst part is that he would want to take my son away and makes me believe i am a terrible mom which i know i am not. I don :t know what to do i feel i can”t move forward to do something about it and believe it or not to hurt him even though i know he cares about other (his maternal family) than me.
What do i do! Scared.
Thank you for this wonderful article about valuing life.
It gave me hope after reading it. Thank you so much.
‘Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don’t succeed, try another way. For every obstacle there is a solution. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. The greatest mistake is giving up’
Don’t you just hate when people use a bunch of slogans to try and cheer you up. Look at the above quote from the article. its just quoting a bunch of slogans, trying to convince you to ‘ Hey cheer up buddy it’ll get better if you just give it a chance!!’
No it won’t. Heres the basic problem with life. Im speaking from the perspective of someone who has literally tried everything and ended up in the same position everytime. I reached my conclusion and i’ll offer my own advice about how i think you can best deal with it. So here it is.
Life is basically an illusion or lie created in the collective consiousness of people. We are basically living a lie when we interact with anyone or anything in the outside world. This lie is that basically all there is to life is earning money. having a great career, getting married, paying your taxes, doing stuff that will make you happy. Bascially any way you interact with the outside world for self gain. Now the thing is most people follow what they have been told to do i.e not really what they believe in their heart.
Billions of people going around doing things they really hate in their hearts to please society and the view society has of them. i ask you if you never heard of marriage would you ever get married??? Nobody would ever consider it. Yet everyone does it because they follow someone else and NOT themselves. Here is the basic problem that leads to all misery. The carrying out of actions that are not in line with what you truely believe versus doing things because you are afraid of what people will think of you or how you will find yourself placed in society.
If you are searching for true happiness the only and i repeat only way to get it is to follow your heart. This means you will have hardly any friends, hardly any money, probably be alone for your life and will have hardly any assests to your name because all of those things are FAKE and not real. The only thing real is your conciousness and what you observe. What makes you happy is known only by you this is why the crappy advice of just cheer up and many of the other slogans don’t work. Your looking for advice on happiness and your looking to others to get it. Happiness and true love lie in your own heart. Following your own heart is the only way to be happy!!! there is the solution the problems. Now that you’ve heard the truth, Live life according to your heart no matter what. Never bow down to anyone ever no matter what the circumstance or you won’t be following your heart, you’ll be following someone elses and that brings the misery that leads to unhappiness and eventually death…
GOOD LUCK
Well to start I was a volunteer firefighter, had two jobs; one. As mood team price change at graveyard in Walmart and another one at big-0-tires! My wife decided to help out her brother who was comming out of prission! Drug related offences! Then my luck started to go down and down lost my jobs and he turned me out as drug addict! Now I have no income! Feel like shit and have kids that depend on me! Stopped drugs but now I can’t get a job cause I live in a small town! I have lost faith and not seem to understand why someone will turn someone else in the wrong direction!
I hate myself I hate my life. I’ve tried everything doctors help, taking to friends, medication. Nothing is working for me. When you get to this point what do you do?
Haynes… I fell the same way. There must be an answer if we are both here on this web site. :*
I agree John. So why should I want to live?
I Can’t find a job, i have been out of work for almost a year now.
I keep getting turned down and it’s getting to the point where my hatred for this world is making me sick. i get so pissed that i just shut down now, and when I finally come around I feel weak sick my heart hurts and head hurts. i’ve been busting my ass trying to get any job i can because hate being out of work but i think the biggest blow is the fact that right know i have to rely on my girlfriend for everything and i can’t help her out at all. i have no pride left, no strength and no hope. I’m fucked
I think John is right. Living the way he suggested is probably the hardest thing though. I was reminded of the writer Charles Bukowski when I read John’s post. A man who had no desire to live a conventional life but, at times in his writing, seemed to have it all figured out or at least had some insight to how to achieve self-gratification.
please suggest me what can i do i was quit MBA because of some problem right now i m empty not doing anything so please give the solution what can i do my parents also scold me for that i m a emotional person i immediately give up for any particular thing so please suggest me what can i do
i believe that life is here to kick you as hard as it can, you did not have the choice to be born. Thats the start of the problem imo, if i had a choice after what i know i would say no your alright i would rather float as dust or what ever through space. life is not precious to everyone and to me its a form of torture where everyday brings another 5 steps back. all people want is to be loved cared about thought about yet money is the ultimate divide, it cuts off poeple with status and those with not, it allows greed and more to come out. religious poeple go on about devine this and that then go and spend there pennies, peace is where the dead is!!
good day
i am a spiritual advisor/ wellness trainer and i have some suggestions on how to get better. i encourage everyone who is at a loss for life to take a whole day, 24 hours and reflect on the life you’ve had thus far. really go deep into yesterdays. go thru the various phases of sensation and realize your life wasn’t always as it currently is.
after you’ve had enough of the trip down memory lane, write down everything you recall from the moments of reflection, whether it be good vibrations or otherwise.
then write 1 word that describes what that memory brings out in you.
example: i was 22 and my mother told me i was a fuck up just like my father = UNWORTHY
example 2: i was on the bus and this group of kids started laughing and i assumed they where targeting
me as they where looking in my direction and pointing = HELPLESS
example 3: i thought i met the woman/man of my dreams but they turned out to be my worst nightmare and
our kids are traumatized because of all the arguing and hateful exchanges = FAILURE
these are all real examples of the traumas that occur in our lives that we may not always address in a timely manner so as to not become crippled by these typical life events……..
after you’ve attached a word to describe the trauma, attach the polar opposite of that word.
UNWORTHY/ WORTH IT
HELPLESS/ BRAVE
FAILURE/ ACCOMPLISHED
now take the better word and write it/them down on a piece of paper. keep that piece of paper in your space at all times; in your pocket, wallet, on the wall, self texted messages, etc.
and at least 100 times a day for 20 days consecutively glance at the key word(s) until they’re in your consciousness.
after 20 days consistent, attach an action to each key word that will encourage that feeling.
WORTH IT = LEARN TO MANAGE MONEY LIKE A FINANCIER
BRAVE = TAKE A MARTIAL ARTS CLASS, BOXING, SELF DEFENSE
ACCOMPLISHED = RUN 2 LAPS AROUND THE TRACK IN 4 MINUTES 3 TIMES A WEEK
now you’ve worked FROM the BOTTOM of a traumatic event TO a PRO ACTIVITY that you can commit to.
take a week and research how to commit to doing each one at least 2 times a week for at least 30 days. the ideal location, the price point for classes, a book/ manual, etc. work out the details.
now your ready to get your shit in order!!!
write out a personal contract that holds you completely accountable for your actions/ lack there of.
date it and sign it. GET TO WORK……..
at the end of 30 days, write out what you did, how much money you spent, how much time you invested on each action and the feeling you had as you where doing it.
NOW TAKE THAT LIST AND TERMINATE IT!!! burn it, shred it up into small pieces and toss it in the trash.
if you make it to this point, post your experience for other people to read and gain hope and control.
“we all suffer, we all cause suffering. we all fall but only some get the hell up”
you can’t overcome what you don’t plan to, so get to work folks. depression is not a journey or a destination, its a rest stop.
Sometimes there really isn’t any hope. No future. Hardly a past to be proud of. I am 37 yrs old. Married for 10 yrs, 3 kids….and soon to be homeless. I lost my job 2 years ago and can’t find another. My husband just lost his job. Our house is going to be foreclosed on soon. My children are suffering because I am no longer able to function and my husband wants me out of the house. So, basically, I’ve lived my life. Did my thing. Went to school, got married, bought a house, had kids…..I tried to realize “the American dream”, but instead my reality is a nightmare. I can no longer cope with all my failures. I want so terribly to give up and I know that others might view this as selfish of me. Still, life has become unbearable. I have seen doctors, therapists, psychiatrists. Taken all sorts of medication. But none of this can help when life is crumbling before your eyes. So, what is one to do? How can one move forward? I am so lost and confused. Just tired in every possible way. I want so badly to give up and sleep this hurt away.
The Ugly Truth is giving up can be the answer sometimes. Who is anyone to judge or decide for no one to ever give up?…The people who say never give up do not feel the pain you are in or the injustices, or very serious problematic issues you are going through. Life is pain and suffering. I live a horrible life that I will not get into but even though I have some good moments there is nothing I have ever heard or seen that would make me choose life over death at any moment. Death is a blessing I test and look forward to every day. I test the fates or Gods, kill me and get it over with already because in my death you lose all power. Hopelessness is power that is greatly under rated. If you have nothing, nothing can be taken from you and any power or issue causing you to suffer loses with no more way of causing you pain. These words may be depressing, or some would say bad, or negative but again who are we to choose. I look around daily and see people that have given up and see that thier only flaw is the lack of courage to take thier own life. Life is a bitch, it will kill you when your doing good, but keep you alive to suffer forever. It is a joke. We all live in Hell and don’t even know it. I think everyone knows when it’s time to give up but no one wants to admit it. To those who read this and are suffering know that I suffer with you and fuck the world and everyone in it. We are souls bounded in suffering and that is something no one can take from us and a game that “they” can never win.
I also have issues infact big problemz dat arouse suddenly. Im married and a father ,my son is only a year old and i lost my job my wife is working n im over indebted to say the least. I honestly dnt have de guts to end it all coz therez a overwhelmin sense of hope each time i look in the mirror or even question tomorrow. Anyway 2 cut a long story short i jst wana say dat in life or LIFE in itself is about change, for instance how many of u knew that life would turn out as it currently if u where 2 gues future ten years before this day, get i. So my point is dat by givin up we leave our tomorrow to the unknown n i dnt believe that is fair 4 the most part, years that we struggled. So waitin to see the change dat life wil bring about is better then jst dieyin and living our tomorrow to the unknown FOR IN LIFE THERE ARE MANY CHANGES AND WE OWE IT TO OURSELVE TO LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO DISCOVER WHATS NEXT, HOPE IS ALL WE HAVE LETS NOT GIVE UP JST YET, MAY PEACE BE WITH YOU
There are many days I want to give up. I am a 50 year old single woman with no children. I lost my job of 11 years last year and still can’t find full-time employment. I don’t have a college degree and feel like nobody wants to hire me. I have worked some temp jobs but they never led to a full-time job. My boyfriend of 5 yrs broke up with me last month telling me he “wants to be alone”. I look for a job every day and feel the longer I’m unemployed that employers will not want to hire me. I have several interviews next week to work in retail for the holidays and hope one might lead to full-time work. I’m trying not to gvie up and always pray to GOD and my special saint St. Jude. My heart is with everyone suffering and hope and pray things will get better.
GOD BLESS.
i give up i feel so alone and i dont won’t to feel this way any more i’v felt like this all my life i’v been bullied abused beaten and taken for granted i’m 32 now and i’v taken all i can take i don ‘t know what else to do or who to turn to no one listens no one really even cares never have nor ever will fuck it best way out for me just hope all though’s that made me suffer have to suffer the same way i did one day don’t think they will though as they all seem so happy with life peace out see you all in the next life…………………………………………………
I apologize, but this doesn’t help at all. If you’ve hit rock bottom, as I have, there’s not much left to consider. What, with the billions of people living on this planet, what makes us so “special” that our lives even matter outside possibly a hundred people in our lives, who would forget about you within a year or two? There’s nothing preventing this inevitable leap into oblivion.
I hope some of you find another way, someday.