Finding the will to change your life
From time to time I have a look at my blog stats. How people found me, how many people visited on a particular day, how many went “ooh yuk!” in under 10 seconds – stuff like that! (Side note – I used to be a compulsive stats viewer, checking every couple hours but I strongly advise getting beyond this and checking every few days or once a week instead! It does great things for your sanity and helps get the focus back onto writing whatever you want rather than being driven by stats.)
But I digress. Today I had a look at some of my blog stats, and as part of this I had a look at some of the search terms people had used to come across my site. Why do I do this? Well, frankly I like the fact that at least someone is reading what I have to say! And I’m curious as to what people are looking for.. Here’s some of the google keywords from this week:
- get excited about living life
- how to lose friends and make no one like you
- the desire to be liked
- the fragility of love
- change fahrenheit to centigrade (what the heck?!)
- personal quotable quotes
And then there it was. Staring me right in the face:
- finding the will to change your life
Wow… finding the will to change your life. I completely love it. Isn’t this really what many of us desire? Notice it’s not “how to change my life”, “where to start changing” or “what do I do first?”, but finding the will. In other words, what do we do when we know we want to make changes, we know there are so many things we can do better and improve upon, but need a bit of a nudge to get us there? How exactly do we not only create more desire for change, but also find the will to change our lives?
The answer is not an easy one, because people are complex! We all have different backgrounds, ideas, dreams. What works for you may not work for me, and vise-versa. Regardless, I’d like to put forth a few questions:
1. How does will power come about exactly? What drives us to want to put that extra effort in and get things done? Does it all come intrinsically, therefore meaning some people will never have it? Or is it a learned skill, one where practice makes perfect?
2. Can anyone do it?
Defining what we want
Answers.com defines willpower as:
“The strength of will to carry out one’s decisions, wishes, or plans.”
Or, in other words, creating a vision or plan for your life and having enough strength of character to carry out that plan.
Another definition from the same source is one I really like, check it out: “Unwavering firmness of character, action, or will.”
Unwavering firmness of character, action or will… Marvellous! I’ll have a double helping, thanks..
Have you, like me, ever really thought about the things you want to change in your life? I’m talking about being very specific. Ever wondered about finding the will to carry out those changes? Where do we start?
Putting it all together
By definition will power involves having the strength to carry out plans, ideas. The best place to start therefore is to make sure you have some kind of idea of what you want! Sounds simple, I know, but believe me – it’s difficult to find the will to change your life when you don’t know specifically what you want out of life.
For me, I’ve started by identifying the things I actually want to do and have.
This exercise can not be done without a pen and paper! I know what you’re thinking, I’ve read similar opening lines before and plowed on with my reading, completely skipping the exercise. Humor yourself and go and grab a pen! It takes less than five minutes, and can be more difficult than you actually think.
Brainstorm for a few minutes and write all the things down that you would like to do and have. Everything. This includes trips, traveling, holidays, material things, cars, boats – whatever. I’ve discovered this is a tough task to complete! What would you go and do right now if you have 20 million dollars in the bank? After you get past the things you think you want but really don’t need
you get to the really great part: discovering what would excite you, make you enjoy life more. These are the things that we want to achieve, that are the basis for finding the will to change our lives. Ok, your five minutes starts…….. now!
Crunch time. Now’s a great time to reflect on your current life. Can you accomplish all the things you wrote down? (Or didn’t write down, for those of you who kept reading!) Why not? Is it because your current existence is incredibly limiting? Or is it because you don’t have “unwavering firmness of character, action or will”? In my own life I’ve found it’s easy to blame circumstances. “I don’t have enough income, cash flow…”, “I could never afford that…” “I don’t earn enough…”
Why not start to take action that will allow you to accomplish what’s on your list? When I am completely honest with myself, I’d have to say that for me it’s because I’ve become comfortable with where I’m at. Complacency. I make enough to pay the bills, have a holiday occasionally, buy a bottle of wine… But certainly not enough to live out my dreams, or accomplish my brainstorming list.
But that’s all about to change.
Finding the Will to Change Your Life
There’s no magic pile of money waiting for you with no effort required. Sorry to disappoint you! Waiting for a huge payout to come from nowhere is about as productive as buying lottery tickets. Finding the will the change your life comes from discovering what you want, brainstorming what you want to accomplish, formulating a plan and sticking with it.
Are you ready for that again?
- Discover what you want (by brainstorming and writing it down).
- Formulate a plan. Let me suggest you start by reading The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss. It’s an incredibly thought provoking read packed with ways to start making more, working less and enjoying life more. You can buy it from Amazon for around $14, money well worth spending.
- Stick with it. This one’s not rocket science, but can be easier said than done. With a little more willpower and action, we can accomplish so much. Don’t give up just because something isn’t working straight away.
And regarding my earlier questions? I don’t think everyone wants to change their life. Many people say things like “it’d be nice to have more money”. Or maybe it’s a new car, going on a holiday… But when it comes down to making changes to accomplish these things, they don’t try to follow through. And I’m just as guilty of falling into this pattern! One thing I’m realising more and more this year is that dreams don’t have to remain as just pipe dreams however – accomplishing what we want out of life takes a decision to make it happen, and the will power to follow through.
Can anybody do it? I’m not so sure. If you’re serious about creating a better life, really determined, and have started by perhaps researching ways to have more free time or create more cash flow, that’s a great first step. Keep going! If you’re that guy at work who whines how he wishes his life was better but does nothing about it however, well I’m not so sure that kind of personality will ever have enough will power to accomplish change.
What has worked for you – has will power alone been enough to make changes in your life?
How have you started to create the changes and lifestyle you want to live?
E-book review: Thirty Days to Change Your Life
Why change my attitude?
Change your stress levels
Do opinions of people change after they die?
The power of a Change of Focus



December 29th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Hi Ross. Well the first part of this gave me a huge boost. It is possible to give up my addiction to checking my visitor stats every couple of hours! I’m hoping it’s a ‘newbie-blogger’ thing and that I’ll get over it .. so happy to hear that you made it.
Hmmm … I have mixed experiences with this willpower stuff. I find that often I get what I want (or get rid of what I don’t want) when I STOP trying. For example, kicking smoking was so much easier when I just did it and stopped using willpower to overcome it. Also when I think of all the things that I’m most grateful for in life, they came without much effort at all. My relationship, children, lifestyle, work. Pretty much all of it. I’ve haven’t found goal setting and planning to suit me much. But that’s a personal approach.
What DOES take willpower is maintaining those things. Nurturing and paying attention and resisting pressure from others when my choices go against the ‘norms’.
I’m inspired though to try your approach just once and see if it changes anything for me. Intellectually it makes perfect sense!
Thanks for the post .. enjoyed it very much!
Ian
December 30th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Hello Ross,
Will power is having motorization to change,I believe self discipline is necessary.I tend to waste time over thinking an issue.
This is when I read blogs like yours to get that proverbial kick in the butt.
Checking blog stats is something I may do once a day.Basically to see what interests people as far as subject matter.I wouldn’t say it is an addiction.
Writing has become more of an outlet,a hidden passion and I have always loved to read.It fills in the gaps.My plate is full but I like to keep busy.
I found your blog on Stumble and immediately RSS it.I like your writing style and subject matter.This is why I come back.
Happy Years !
Bunny got Blog’s last blog post..Burn And Crash
December 30th, 2008 at 1:08 am
Yes Ross. “Change”
I think that word is very suitable for the theme in the upcoming year.
Arswino’s last blog post..Bend, but Don’t Break
December 30th, 2008 at 4:23 am
Hi Ross: It’s interesting to think that someone looking for the will to change their life landed on your blog. I read somewhere that you need to use your will power to keep your mind focused on what you want instead of having it roaming about freely rehashing negative events from the past and worrying about the future. If you’re able to keep your mind focused on what you want, that should give you the motivation to get up and go after it. I agree with your three steps: decide what you want, formulate a plan, and stick to it.
Marelisa’s last blog post..35 Creative Ways to Market Your Blog
December 30th, 2008 at 8:28 am
@Ian – Hi, great comment. I can relate to having to use willpower or determination at least when it comes to maintaining things also… Would love to hear how you go with a shift in thinking.. As you say, different things suit different people. Trust you had a great Christmas break!
@Bunny – Hi, self-discipline is also a big one when it comes to reaching goals, as you say. Thanks for always having something unique to say – hope you had a great Christmas break!
@Arswino – I love the concept of change. It lets us get past boring or repetitive existences!
@Marelisa – I know, I did a little double take when I saw the search string… Cheers for your comments re: focusing on what you want, as you suggest it then lends itself to increased motivation. Hope you had a great Christmas break!
December 30th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Ross,
First of all, great read! It stimulates my thought a lot, Ross. I have a problem with my will power. I have lots of thoughts and dreams and what I want to achieve. However, “when all is said and done, more is said than done”!
Will power is significant to start a change. And even stronger will power is needed to keep on the new path of life. We should not always force ourselves though.
I changed my diet and became a pescatarian (eat veggie and seafood). I stopped eating beef for longer than ten years already. Gave up pork and all mammal meat two years ago and just quited chicken (all poultry). People were amazed at me and I just felt natural.
All in all, I believe that will power should support your life, not against it. I see many people who have the will power but on something that is the exactly the opposite of his (her) character and value. And there, will power became frustrating.
Viriya’s last blog post..Collaboration: A Lesson from Online Games
December 31st, 2008 at 8:25 am
It seems like different people have different amounts of ‘natural’ will power. I reckon a big thing is working out what’s worth directing will power towards. For me, gaining stuff for me is often not that satisfying anyway, so if becoming rich, or getting a Ferrari is going to need lots of will power, then it’s not worth the effort/stress! But stuff that does other people some good is generally much more satisfying, so seems worth a lot more will power. When someone asks me for help with something that takes some sticking at or effort, I find it’s never that difficult to be motivated. As far as I can see, this is just how life is…
December 31st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
“Will power” to me means there is no other choice – or at least no other livable choice. To me getting rich or having a lot of money (for instance) isn’t about “stuff” (I’m starting to really hate the way that word is used now!) but not having to worry about what would happen to me if I don’t qualify for health insurance for example. Will I end up in tens of thousands of dollars in debt again? The same goes for my general lifestyle, my diet, etc.
I guess my will power comes from the strong desire to have some security in life. Though I am still very young, I had enough painful life experience to know I don’t want ten more years of the same. That is whats driving me.
Carla’s last blog post..Homemade Reusable Grocery Store Bags
December 31st, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Hi Ross
Some interesting thoughts.
I think that willpower is sometimes something that can come from personal development. Yes, some people seem to naturally have it, but I think that others have to grow or overcome certain issues before they can move forward in their lives.
I guess then the question is about having the willpower to overcome those issues!
Juliet
LifeMadeGreat’s last blog post..Why Is It Awkward To Haggle Over Prices?
January 1st, 2009 at 1:30 am
For one to be successful in life, one must be able to have the will to change and consistently take action. By consistently taking action, we are putting in effort and doing something to make our dream a reality. Great article Ross.
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Vincent’s last blog post..Is Analysis Paralysis Stopping You From Taking Action?
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:42 am
@Viriya – Interesting comments on will power supporting the person involved. I guess there are times where we are just not suited to a particular task or situation, so to pursue it with vigour would be a waste of time, regardless of will power!
@Mike – Yeah, kind of like “… and, is your will power directed towards fruitful, positive embarkments or selfish ventures!”
@Carla – I think the desire to be secure is a perfectly valid reason to be inspired, motivated and have enough will power to ensure you reach that point. Congratulations on your ventures/achievements so far!
@Life made great – kind of like, “…so you’ve got some issues that are holding you back – tackle them first!” For sure. Parly it’s character, personality, but there’s also all that “stuff” that can holds us back, weigh us down. How do we have the willpower to overcome these issues? Probably a great first step is acknowledging they exist! Then we can work on reducing blame and taking ownership. Thanks for your comments!
@Vincent – you’re such a loyal commenter! You’re beginning to out-do Lance! You must read a lot of blogs, vincent! All the best for the year ahead.
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:23 am
Ross,
Very inspiring and very timely. Some people take this time – the start of a new year – to be the start of a new life of sorts. It takes more than a day of change. As you say, it is all about “want”. What do you want, really want? You have to want it and you have to believe you can do it, and you have to be positive about your focus. Until you believe it, it’s probably not going to happen.
Dee Langdon – BloggerNewbie’s last blog post..The Longer I Live
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
hohohoo finding the will to change a life!! its a magic words that can inspiring many people ^-^
great article..!
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
@Dee – True, I think it’s a great opportunity to reflect on where you’re at and where you’re headed. Trust you’ll have a great 2009!!
@qishi87 – Hi there, thanks for visiting!
January 30th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
great post!
knowing what you want is crucial
AJ Kumar’s last blog post..Do You Practice What You Preach?
February 12th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
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