Difficult decisions
I read an interesting quote today on making difficult decisions which I’ll share with you shortly. It’s fair to say that difficult decisions can be a source of great frustration! I know from my own experiences that thinking or worrying about which is the best choice to make can consume our thoughts day after day, until we have resolved to go one way or the other.
The core of this quote intrigued me, because it asks us when we are really honest with ourselves, do we truly in our heart of hearts already know which way we should choose for most difficult decisions; do we already know which is the correct decision we should make?
I would venture to say that with a lot of difficult decisions that are a source of grief and worry, probably much of that has to do with stewing over consequences and ramifications, such as the quote suggests, rather than the uncertainty of which decision we should actually make.
From Jon Baker’s site (source unknown):
When we think we have a hard decision to make it’s because we’ve already made the decision and don’t want to deal with (or don’t know how to handle) the consequences of that decision.”
I’ll let you make up your own mind.
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January 16th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Hey Ross,
Love these though provoking short posts… I read somewhere recently that it is not the decision that is the difficult part but the process of making it (or something like that). Basically, people worry about the outcome of their decisions, but mostly find that once a decision is made it is not as bad as they thought it was going to be!
Cheers,
Chris
Chris’s last blog post..(My First) Video Update
January 16th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
@Chris – thanks for the feedback! Kind of puts decision making a little more into perspective, doesn’t it… Fortunately for me I haven’t had to make any life-changing majorly major ones recently!
January 17th, 2009 at 12:56 am
This post definitely rings true for me. I just made a very difficult decision this week. Honestly, I’d been putting it off for *years*. Of course I knew what I had to do, but I finally bit the bullet.
I take some comfort in research that was discussed in the book “Goal Free Living.” In brief, it found that it really doesn’t matter what choice you make, as long as you are committed to it. The happiest people are the ones with the least regrets. The unhappiest are always wondering “What if I made the other choice?”
Maria | Never the Same River Twice’s last blog post..Traveling By Your Inner Compass: Make One Small Change
January 17th, 2009 at 4:45 am
Hey Ross,
I have to agree with the quote. Many procrastinate because they already know the out come and ponder on ways to change it.
Over thinking something is a waste of time when the results is staring you in the face.
Cheers
Bunny got Blog’s last blog post..Stop! In The Name Of Love
January 17th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Thanks for the quote Ross. I have never thought of hard decision this way until you showed me the quote.
Cheers,
Vincent
Vincent’s last blog post..Why Show Gratitude When We Can Be Selfish?
January 17th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Hi Ross. I’ve been in this position many times. Trying to make a decision and moving back and forth between choices, takes a lot of energy. It’s even more difficult when the decision involves other people. I wonder how this affects the probable consequences of the decision that IS finally made.
Davina’s last blog post..Self Help Me
January 18th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Due Dilligence is done to support and justify a decision or vendor in corporations. I have been involved in two vendor selections this year that dragged on for months but I think the vendors were decided after the first meeting. I think all of this is done to ensure that everyone is commited to the decision that is being made as pointed out by Maria
mike A’s last blog post..Outdoor Safety in the Winter
January 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Hi Ross, you’re right. I think it is not about the decision we made, but about the consequences of the decision, whether we dare to take the risks or not.
Thanks for sharing, Ross.
Arswino’s last blog post..3 Ways to Strengthen Perseverance
January 18th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Hi Ross,
I have to concur with Arswino – it’s the consequences of those decisions that make it so difficult sometimes. And what holds us back from actually “making” the decision… Good food for thought here today…
Lance’s last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day
January 18th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Hi Ross
Interesting quote.
I think that if we do connect with our true selves, we will immediately know the answer – it is there.
So it’s the consequences that are where the difficulty lies. And that confuses our inner connection – often to the extent that we generally don’t have access to it! So we are left with waying up consequences.
Juliet
LifeMadeGreat’s last blog post..What Are You Thirsting For?
January 18th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Hey guys, thanks a lot for taking the time to comment! It’s interesting to think about because decisions and decision making can take up so much of our time. Difficult decisions can also be quite stressful.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:57 am
I know I’m definitely that way. Difficult decisions almost always involve something I don’t want to do but feel I should and I’m struggling with saying no–or rephrasing the idea until I can figure out a way to want to do it.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..Goals and patience: Michael Martine interview
January 20th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
It strikes me as the only way this would be true in a very general way would be if ‘the decision’ is defined as ‘establishing what would be the most self-serving’.
To me, ‘the decision’ is defined as ‘the final choice of action’, which is not necessarily as clear. I might be struggling with a decision because I know what I would want to do if I could be completely self-serving and not have to deal with the consequences, but consequences are linked with every single action we make and so cannot be separated from ‘the decision’ the way they are here.
That said, I’ve met more than one person who complained that a decision was ‘hard’ to make when they only even entertained one choice and just wanted to delay or excuse themselves of the consequences.
Emma’s last blog post..The mind beyond the brain
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:59 am
That’s a powerful quotation. I never thought of it that way. Are we actually convincing ourselves that another route is okay? I can see that that. It’s a form of a defense mechanism.
Gennaro’s last blog post..Olympians Name Top Snowboarding Locations
February 5th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
realy nice one !!!
March 19th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
What a great quotation.. but in my opinion, whatever you choose, the path will cross somwhere, sometime, in the future.. have you ever thought that life is like a flowchart? (not like a box of chocolate as Mr. Gump said)
koentz’s last blog post..AMED – BALI