Comments for Will it change you: portal for personal growth

Comment on Telling it like it is by WickyChicky

WickyChicky — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:21:02 +0000

Hello! I tend to be pretty blunt. I sometimes lack tact and the helpful critique I intended comes out wrong. There are other times when I find myself just smiling and agreeing if just to avoid a conflict. It has much to do with situation, though I have always found it interesting how it seems easier to be bluntly honest with strangers than with those I know. Perhaps because feelings are involved? WickyChicky’s last blog post..My New Years Resolution: Focus on the Wonderful

Comment on Make money doing what you love by mike A

mike A — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:24:19 +0000

Don’t go through life grow through life.
In the day to day mundane tasks that must be done we can forget to live and experience. How many times have you thought on Monday I can’t wait for Friday. I don’t know about you but I for one and not ready to toss away 4 days. Try new things when is the last time you did something for the 1st time?
The best day of your life is the day that you take responsibility for your life.
sorry for throwing out random thoughts but the list inspired them

mike A’s last blog post..A look back at 2008 and the year ahead

Comment on Make money doing what you love by Stacey / Create a Balance

Stacey / Create a Balance — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:09:47 +0000

Hi. I found your site from Green+chic. I’m a huge fan of making money by doing what you love. Hear is a great quote (author unknown)…

Do What You Love
Love What You Do
Don’t Chase Money
It Will Find You

Stacey / Create a Balance’s last blog post..How to Eat Just One Chocolate Chip Cookie

Comment on Movember 2008 - Changing the face of men’s health by Ross

Ross — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 11:41:38 +0000

Thanks so much for your support, and to everyone who donated. My team raised over $1000 for these really great causes. Thanks again! (And, I’m REALLY pleased to be rid of that awful mo!)

Comment on Telling it like it is by Ross

Ross — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 10:23:06 +0000

@Steve - welcome! How’s everything going? Haven’t seen you round for a while… I really like how you’ve put it, “there is usually a right way of saying something”. I find it more difficult sometimes to bring up the hard topics when it’s someone I know well, or family… And yes, I know that feeling of anticipation when you have to address something you’d rather not, then discovering afterwards that sense of relief, or calmness that the confrontation is over. And there’s also a sense of feeling much better, that the conversation had to happen - regardless of how uncomfortable you or they felt at the time. Great to hear from you again, Steve!

@Arswino - No, it’s certainly never easy. Probably the easiest option is staying quiet, but this won’t help you grow as a person! Baby steps is the key. I always find practicing to be more assertive in other areas transcends to my interactions with people, and communication skills. Thanks for sharing.

Comment on Telling it like it is by Arswino

Arswino — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:24:16 +0000

Hi Ross, for me it is not easy to apply those especially if I have to face someone who has sensitive feeling or instead my own boss. However, thanks for sharing. I will learn to apply the tips. Arswino’s last blog post..If You Don’t Sacrifice Now, You’ll Hate Yourself Later

Comment on JW’s: Would you like to know The Truth? by Steve

Steve — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:36:40 +0000

Lots of talk about truth & whether there’s one or many. I know what I believe, but setting that to one side, it seems silly to say that lots of different views about the same subject can all be true!
Here’s a challenge. Ask God for the truth when you don’t get something. I’m always amazed at the result of this. I can tell you what I believe if you want, but I think in this case it’s best to say ask God. One bit of truth - he is reliable, but it takes some open-ness to hear him. Seems to me that this approach can’t be accused of pushing a view onto people. If you think God might have said something, ask again, he doesn’t mind. If you’re still not sure, ask again. You’ll get to a point when you know you don’t need to ask again about that subject. I guess I’m speaking mainly to people who believe there is a God, but then again, there are atheists who found God after saying, ‘if you are there you’re going to have to prove it!’. I realise that might even stretch the definition of an atheist, but this is from their accounts not mine! C S Lewis being a famous one. Hope that’s not too off the point, I’ve just seen the time and it’s not good!

Comment on Telling it like it is by Steve

Steve — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:06:57 +0000

Personally, I’ve found that there is usually a right way of saying something. I don’t mean I always get it right! Sometimes I’ve seen the right way simply because it was the opposite to what actually came out of my mouth! Seems with me, it’s easier to slip up if it’s someone I know well.
But, I find a good way to think about what to say is “will this do the other person any good?” If not, it’s best to keep it to myself - amongst other things it won’t make my life easier either. But having a concern for the other person actually does work all round. I think though it takes practice, and it means thinking through what I plan to say before I say it. It’s usually obvious then, what the reaction will be! Having said all that, looking out for yourself is sometimes necessary in order to do any good for others.

In general, I agree with your post, Ross. As usual, a lot of thought/experience seems to have gone into it. Lastly, 2 things; first, I’ve had to say some quite hard things to people, but when they get the fact that you actually care about them not just yourself, the reaction is often way better than expected. And yes, sometimes I do spend the whole time leading up to it feeling well stressed!; second, when I’ve found out in the past that someone had a problem with me, but I’ve been told by someone else, I’ve thought how much simpler it would have been if they’d come to me. It’s usually stuff that I’ve thought ‘I wish I knew that sooner, I could have put it right’. I try not to gossip about an issue - either say it to the person concerned or keep it to myself is usually the best way.

…must try to shorten my posts
…be direct & tell it like it is if you hate long replies!

Comment on New Year? Bring it on! by Steve

Steve — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:43:10 +0000

Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve posted here, I think.
Just a random thought really - in the past I never really attached any significance to one day more than another, I guess partly due to upbringing & partly because lots of people talk about a new year as a time to change or improve, but often do nothing about it..!

More recently, in the last couple of years probably, I’ve come to see the value of milestones like new year, and various other celebrations. For me, I think I needed to get somewhere where I could see more meaning to life & purposes (mostly down to God, bit that’s another, long story!) But since all that, I’ve come to see the value of “reflecting on previous accomplishments and failures, and committing to making some positive advancements or changes in many aspects of our lives”, as Ross put it so well.

It seems to me that many people are unable to do this if they have low self esteem/self opinion. If so, you tend to always blame yourself for any failures or shortcomings and also believe yourself incapable of making any positive changes. For me, God is a big part of this whole picture, as what I see of Jesus, he never took people’s past to mean much. He sometimes mentioned it, not often, but always saw the potential in people. The ones he got annoyed with were the ones who had big egos & used that to oppress others.

Anyway, as has been said before on this blog, I think, if you have low self esteem, try to be around people who don’t judge or rubbish others. You probably need someone else to point out the positives that you have, if you don’t see any yourself. Also, again has probably been said already, but set goals that can be achieved. I’ve seen people set goals that are guaranteed to fail. You can achieve a fair bit, but start small & work your way up. I see this work all the time in my job - if I’m teaching bike skills and I was to start on big stuff, people are bound to fail, even get injured. Whereas learning some techniques on smaller stuff, then building on it gives confidence. This is kind of the same in life. Start with stuff you know you can achieve, but make sure you start! If you do fail, try again! People are nearly always positive if they see you try.

That’s enough from me I think, otherwise I’ll go on forever! Nice thoughts everyone! Thanks & have a good 2009.

Comment on Telling it like it is by Ross

Ross — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:01:22 +0000

@Bunny - Hi, that’s one vivid picture you’ve painted of the man who smelled so bad! Approaching someone who has some kind of personal hygiene problem is not so easy to do..

@Dee - Howdy. Obviously it depends on the circumstance, but it does take practice to find a balance between being polite and looking out for yourself! Have a great week.