When I was in high-school, I was very much a type A personality. I certainly didn’t mind being the center of attention, and I was particularly loud and generally attention seeking!

credit: WJGS Design

I was the kind of guy that just about announced his presence when entering a room, and was really a bit of an idiot!

As I’ve aged, my personality has changed. I’m not so loud, I really don’t seek attention & my nature is much more melancholy. Part of this is probably due to the fact I married someone with this kind of personality, and we’ve each adopted part of each others traits. Part of it is probably also because I have done a bit of self reflection. It hasn’t happened overnight however, and it’s something I still try and work on all the time.

One of the moments I realised I needed to make some changes in my life came after I read How to Win Friends and influence people. This book was one of the first I ever read on the subject of self improvement, and was the inspiration that drove me to read much more material on personal growth and more importantly to make some real changes in my own life.

One of the biggest things I got out of this book is learning to look at the bigger picture with our every day interactions. For example, I used to argue things to the death! If I felt I was right, I would argue and argue until you understood just why I was right! As this book points out, WHO CARES! At the end of the argument, who cares who won - and what was the point of making the other person see that you were right? Really all it does is make you feel better, and turns everyone else against you! You become known as ‘that guy who loves himself’ (even if it’s not the case).

How to add some flair without overdoing it!
The trick is to have some kind of balance in your life. You don’t want to be that guy at the party who’s rapping on the mic about how he’s making all the ladies swoon! But you don’t want to be a recluse who is so shy they don’t talk to anybody.

credit: Brenda Annerl

Adding a bit of ‘flair’ really means make your life fun! Don’t succumb to social isolation - add some spark to your personality. Let other people see joy in your eyes, be appreciative of the things you are thankful for in life.

Some of the traits you may need to work on:
- shyness
- being over-quiet
- being too serious
- lacking fun, or enjoyment
- not talking to other people much
- having poor people skills
- lacking motivation and drive
- no enthusiasm for life

These are all things you can work on! While they definitely come naturally to some people more than others, part of living a life that you enjoy means working on areas of your life that need change. Personal growth won’t really occur until you set your personal standards high, and work on your personality if it needs some changes!

What you can do:

Eliminate negative attitudes.

Don’t be so quick to mock or sneer at things - give things a go.

Have a go at starting up some conversations in the staff room - what have you got to lose!?


Be an instigator - ring some people up on Friday and organise some activity for Saturday. Fun, activities and flair won’t always just fall into your lap!


credit: dklimke


Find a balance in your personality - be someone who is fun to be around, but slow to judge others or put other people down. Work on your confidence and people skills, but don’t overdo it.

Read this book! Start here, and you will begin to see the bigger picture.

Try to avoid being a boring kind of person. This is something you can work on!

Find a Hobby, or get involved with other people - don’t be a recluse!

Sometimes all it takes is a little inspiration to turn our lives around. Adding a bit of flair to your life is a step in the right direction. Why settle for second best? Enjoy your life, and live a little!